I don't know about you guys, but one item on my bucket list that I'll probably never be able to fulfill is the holy grail of kissing a celebrity on the mouth. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro is definitely achievable, while I have high hopes that Elon Musk will figure out a way to take me to the Moon. Sadly, the closest I'll ever get to kissing Kim Kardashian on the lips is getting lovingly tackled by her security detail, or tenderly punched in the face by Kanye West.
But for a second, let's put aside my hypothetical broken dreams and/or broken nose, and think about the celebrities with the most kissable lips. We're going to focus on female celebrities, because everybody knows that JAY-Z is the male celebrity with the most kissable lips. No wonder Beyoncé's Crazy In Love with him.
If we put it to the floor, we'd doubtless get plenty of shouts for celebrities around the world, from Cara Delevingne to Chrissy Teigen. You see, my friends, it is a subjective choice for most of us, but on this occasion, science has got our back with respect to the most kissable celebrity lips.
Embarking on a quest of celebrity kissability, researchers talked to 560 plastic surgeons and a further 560 members of the public, taking data from 35 countries around the globe. The scientists showed them a series of photos of people's mouths, and asked the test subjects to rate them according to the most attractive mouths.
This particular study was led by Dr Paul Heidekrueger from Munich in Germany, and this isn't his first rodeo when it comes to figuring out the geometry of sexual desire: he's also looked into the perfect buttock size and studied the "ideal ear placement in Caucasian females". So, it's fair to say that he knows what sexy looks like.
Here's what Dr Heidekrueger and his team of scientists found. Writing in the Journal Of Cranio-Maxillo-Facial Surgery, Dr Heidekrueger wrote that "a 1:1 lip ratio can apparently be considered most pleasing in females" - that is, if your top lip and bottom lip are pretty much the same size.
So, which celebrities fit the bill for Dr Heidekrueger's kissability classification? The stars of the red carpet with the best lips is actress Scarlett Johansson, whom we know from a variety of films, kissing everybody from Incredible Hulk actor Eric Bana, to Incredible Hulk actor Mark Ruffalo.
If Scarlett's too busy filming the latest Avengers film to let you kiss her on the mouth, then your next best bet is the model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She's been attached to the actor and martial artist Jason Statham since 2010, and the pair are engaged with a son. So, good luck kissing Jason Statham's fiancé: I'm sure it'll be fine if you ask nicely.
If you're looking for celebrities who don't have particularly kissable lips, then one notable actress is Hermione from Harry Potter: Emma Watson. Thanks to her narrow upper lip, the experience would apparently not be as pleasurable as kissing Scarlett Johansson on the lips.
So there we go, folks. Of course, everybody has what they like and prefer, and I strongly recommend not kissing a celebrity on the lips unless you're pretty certain of consent. But now, thanks to the marvel of modern science, you now know which celebrities to concentrate your efforts on for the best kiss imaginable.
