Travis Scott will neither confirm nor deny that Kylie Jenner is pregnant
The universe is full of mysteries that have baffled mankind's greatest thinkers. We might never get answers, but we keep asking the burning questions: What is dark energy? Why is there more matter than antimatter? What happens after you die? And, most importantly: Is Kylie Jenner pregnant?!
When it comes to getting knocked up, the Kardashians like to play coy - or rather, koy. Khloe Kardashian refused to admit it for months, stringing her fans along with hints on social media. Finally, just before the New Year, she confirmed she was with child, sharing a photo of her long-awaited "baby bump." Scientists unanimously agree it is the greatest photo ever taken, and makes the moon landing look like absolute garbage.
Rumors have swirled about Kylie's pregnancy for months, but she refuses to confirm - or rather, konfirm. Sadly, there is no evidence. Her photos on social media don’t show any baby bump. Fans scrutinized a grainy picture from a party that appeared to show a baby-sized belly, but they couldn't be sure. Some people theorized that Kylie already had the baby, in secret. When asked for his opinion, astrophysicist Stephen Hawking said, "Who cares? Don't bother me with this stupid crap. How did you get my number?"
Most people thought Kylie would clear up this conspicuous conundrum of chaos and confusion by Christmas - I mean, klear up this konspikuous konundrum of khaos and konfusion by Kristmas. However, it only got worse! Kylie was left out of the official Kardashian Christmas photo, sending a chill down everyone’s spine. She was the only one missing! What?! Why?! Then, after everyone freaked out over Her absence, Kim suddenly deleted the picture! She claimed it didn't fit her "Instagram style," but that doesn't make any sense, does it? What is going on?!
With the Kardashians keeping mum, there's only way to get information about Kylie: through her boyfriend, rapper Travis Scott. The 24-year-old Goosebumps singer just released a collaborative album with Quavo from Migos; now he's gearing up for the release of his next solo project, Astroworld. With his music career on the berge of hitting a new level, Billboard interviewed the young hip-hop artist - and the reporter didn't hold back on questions about Kylie.
"Have you spoken to your father about becoming a father yourself?" asked the interviewer.
"Uh... for what?" replied Travis.
"There are these rumors that you’re dating Kylie and having a child with her," explained the interviewer.
"I don’t want to talk about that," replied Travis. "They’re just guesses. Let them keep fishing."
"Let them keep fishing!" Oh, come on, Travis. We're tired of fishing. We've been out in this boat on Kardashian Lake for days and haven't caught anything besides empty bottles of spray tan and Back Hair Remover. We were so close to getting information, too. Oh well. I guess that's life, to perpetually hover on the cusp of understanding, the brim of absolute knowledge, getting closer and closer to learning the truth, while the truth dodges and dances away, just out of reach.