Fortune cookies (whether they actually taste good or not) are one of the best things about ordering Chinese food. Who doesn't get a little bit excited about what their future could have in store? Unfortunately, not every fortune turns out to be as helpful or as optimistic as we'd like.
From odd vocabulary lessons to random musings about the universe, we've rounded up the funniest fortunes from Twitter.
1. Self-awareWe are closer to a sausage party scenario than we know.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/nicoIauss/status/1018316507569217537?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1018316507569217537&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
2. MomWhy does this sound like my mom?
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/sorryimmaria/status/323138120080044032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E323138120080044032&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
3. Lazy ass cookieFortune cookies have one job, but even they get lazy sometimes.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/artistlorene/status/1018708496668168192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1018708496668168192&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
4. KinkyThis one seems to have taken a page from Fifty Shades of Grey.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/postsecret/status/1015605243764076544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1015605243764076544&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
5. GrossProbably worse than being told I'll die next week.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/pjh_22/status/1015580344211378177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1015580344211378177&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
6. Too lateTelling people to avoid cookies is counterproductive, coming from a cookie.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/GarmanSports/status/1008894081991413760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1008894081991413760&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
7. Aunty cookieThis one sounds like a nagging relative again. Who wants to be shamed by their fortune.
[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/DavidJollyFL/status/1007790815249424384?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1007790815249424384&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thisisinsider.com%2Ffunny-fortune-cookies-2018-7]]
If anything this hasn't made me pessimistic, just incredibly desperate for some Chinese.
