Beard Christmas ornaments are the seasonal trend to make your facial hair festive
Guys, the end of October is fast approaching, and that can only mean one thing: HALLOWEE - wait, what? Not Halloween? Well, what could possibly be more important than that? Ohhhh, ok let me start again...
GUYS, IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS.
Look, I know you're all excited about the spookiest night of the year, but come on, we all know that Christmas is secretly still everybody's favourite holiday deep down. After all, where would we be in life without copious amounts of mince pies, horrifically ugly jumpers, and the chance to spend some good quality time with our nearest and dearest?
And even if you don't like those aspects of the holidays, there's bound to be something for you. Maybe bad '80s songs about Santa Claus is where it's at for you, or perhaps you err on the side of a roast dinner with all the trimmings. Or there's the presents, obviously - and who could forget that it's the one time of year you get to see your great Aunt Norma get sloshed on gin and start singing show tunes?
But, if none of that floats your boat, then I have one more last-ditch attempt at making you merry for the season: beard ornaments.
Look, people, you might think this is silly, but there was a time in history when we thought space travel was a bit of a daft idea, too - and look at us now! We've been to the moon! We're going to go to Mars! So, you know what that means:
WE'RE GOING TO DECORATE OUR BEARDS WITH BAUBLES.
Trees are soooo last year; beards are where it's at! They're so much more versatile, more innovative, and they're portable, meaning that you can take Christmas with you wherever you go. To work, to the gym, to the mall when you go and visit Santa (who really ought to be donning this trend as well, tbh).
"But what if I don't have a beard?" I hear you cry. DO NOT FEAR. I also don't have a beard, but there are ways around this, my friends. Get a fake beard. Put them in your hair. Put them on your dog.
Look, if I haven't convinced you by now, maybe these guys can do a better job:
Ok, so maybe I can understand if you still want to wait a few days before getting into the Christmas spirit (and, if I'm honest, I'm still more excited about turning up to my office in a costume than I am about singing carols) - but these little ornaments will certainly get you in the mood when you are ready to embrace the festivities.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and spend some time honing my beard-growing abilities...