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This guy can't stop texting when stoned, and it's too funny for words

We all have that friend who gets a bit philosophical after they've had a smoke. All it takes is a few puffs, and suddenly they're planning a new business venture based on moulted cat hair, or waxing lyrical about the fact that showers are just indoor rainstorms, or debating how plausible it is that we've actually all been part of The Truman Show this whole time.

In their mind, they're probably a modern day Aristotle - but, to the rest of us, they're just another stoner rambling on about how sea lions are basically dog mermaids. And it can get old after a while.

For Twitter user @paytonwhittt, however, the stoned messages she frequently receives are the highlight of her day.

Coming from somebody she refers to as 'Xanboy', an individual who appears to spend his time smoking bowls and getting off his nut on various substances, the texts cover everything from motorcycles to rolling in the grass - and all of them are amazing...

1. Wait until he finds out about Skype

xanboy texts Credit: Twitter

2. Positively Shakespearean 

stoner text Credit: Twitter

3. It is pretty mind-blowing, to be fair

stoner wisdom Credit: Twitter

4. The subconscious mind knows a lot about the opposites

stoner text Credit: Twitter

5. Psychedelics + costumes = bad times 

costume party stoner Credit: Twitter

6. Time waits for no stoner

stoner texts Credit: Twitter

7. Asking the real questions

stoner questions Credit: Twitter

8. I'm sure the flower is in a better place now

stoner text Credit: Twitter

9. This is why you don't drive under the influence

stoner message Credit: Twitter

10. "Stayed there for like an hour or 2" nbd

stoner message Credit: Twitter

11. Stoner logic is flawless

stoner couch story Credit: Twitter

stoner text Credit: Twitter

12. Yuhh

stoner language Credit: Twitter

13. Back yards are just tiny forests though 

stoner logic Credit: Twitter

Well, Xanboy seems to be having a great time in life. However, he should probably stick to grass-rolling and flower-hiding rather than driving. Just to be on the safe side.