Regardless of what Ke$ha says, the only way I've ever woken up "feeling like P Diddy" is if P Diddy wakes up every morning feeling like death incarnate; regretting every moment of existence leading up to that point, as his alarm blares and bleats by his bedside table. But I doubt I'm the only one who's a self-proclaimed "not a morning person".
Sluggishly shuffling out of bed, showering, brushing your teeth; pulling on a pair of jeans and a clean (well, clean looking) shirt. The last thing on the agenda for most people heading out to work is a nice bit of breakfast. But with burnt toast or soggy cereal the pinnacle of most people's breakfast options, it's no surprise that we end up skipping it entirely, hoping to make up for it with a big lunch.
But there's a reason breakfast is the most important meal of the day: that initial energy boost can be the difference between a great day and an awful one. So, for those of you struggling to get excited for this very important meal, I have a food that'll tickle your tastebuds so much you'll be drooling before daybreak: chocolate cake.
Stop laughing, I'm being completely serious! Wait, hold on; where are you all going?
Talk to anyone over the age of 13 about eating chocolate cake for breakfast, and they'll calmly (but firmly) explain to you the downsides of living with type 2, adult-onset diabetes. It seems like a hilariously unhealthy choice for your first meal of the day, but hey: so does bacon, if you think about it.
All you really need to make a supposedly unhealthy food breakfast food is clever marketing, and that's why I think expert Liz Moskow is onto something here. The culinary director of advertising firm Sterling-Rice Group, Moskow says there are new studies carried out on the benefits of cocoa, and as such, you'd be a fool not to get them into your early morning routine.
"There was a study that recently came out from Syracuse University re-touting the benefits of dark chocolate, specifically on cognitive function – abstract reasoning, memory, focus. The thought was eating chocolate prepares you more for your workday, so what better day part to incorporate dark chocolate into your meal than breakfast?"
Okay, I'm listening. Moskow also explains that a separate study from the University of Tel Aviv says that if we're going to be eating chocolate cake, we should be doing it at breakfast; since your metabolism is fastest in the morning, that's when you're going to be able to handle a heavy-duty dessert. Moskow elaborates on that point:
“Combining those two studies and the likeability of having dessert for breakfast, we predict that breakfast might start seeing brunch amuse-bouche chocolate cakes or brunch and breakfast restaurants incorporating a robust dessert menu."
But before we throw away all of our breakfast cereals and begin to live our dreams as that kid in Matilda who's forced to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the whole school (no? Just me?), an actual dietitian has stepped in to put an end to this madness. British Dietetic Association spokesperson Alison Hornby notes (being a total spoilsport) that both of these studies focus on cocoa in its natural form, not in the form of candy bars, or indeed, chocolate cake.
That's not to say you can't have chocolate cake - rather, that you should probably focus on one with limited sugar, and almond flour instead of your regular wheat variety. Come on - it's almost the same, right?
