A third of vegetarians admit to eating meat when they're drunk
I've always wanted to be a vegetarian, but you know, I just can't bring myself to do it. I've had two greatly influential college professors, also, who had profoundly good arguments against eating meat, but they too continue to chomp upon the chops.
Is it right to turn cows into meat machines? Are animals incapable of feeling the existential pain of slaughter? Eh, I'm absolutely starving, and once I finish this article, I'm going to have a delicious plate of chicken. Everyone loves meat. It's nutritious, it's filling, it's a rare food, I'll tell you that.
I do enjoy salmon, but vegetarians have a lot of discipline to hold off on the rest of the meat kingdom. At least, some vegetarians. 61 per cent of them, to be exact. The other 39 per cent? Well, they've got a dirty secret, and a bit of blood, on their hands!
1,789 vegetarian and vegan Brits were interviewed about their late-night drunken eating habits, and between 37 and 39 per cent of those involved fessed up to eating meat during those special binges. Even more curious, 69 per cent of the respondents said they were not forthright about that information with their friends.
Worse, 34 per cent of those who ate meat while drunk said that they did so EVERY SINGLE TIME they got drunk. Wow. Now that's a serious craving. 26 per cent said they did it pretty often, 22 per cent said they did it rarely, and 18 per cent said it was extremely rare... but it still happens.
What's the further breakdown? Well, 39 per cent of the closet-meat-eaters ate kebab, while 34 per cent ate burgers. 27 per cent ate bacon, delicious, hellishly unhealthy bacon, and 19 per cent went for a little fried chicken. The least popular drunk meat? Sausage, at only 14 per cent.
George Charles, the man behind the study, had this to say:
“I know a few ‘vegetarians’ who sometimes crave meat, but it seems that a few are giving into their cravings when drunk...I think it’s important for friends of these ‘vegetarians’ to support them when drunk and urge them not to eat meat as I’m sure they regret it the next day.”
That's the truth of it - when the drunkenness wears off, and they've broken a moral vow they made with themselves, a certain degree of bad conscience is sure to sprout up from the cracks they'd made in their mind's fortitude.
It's never a good idea, no matter how hungry or craving you may feel, to break a vow you made with yourself about your behavior. What good are our ideas if they do not manifest in our behavior? Is drinking that powerful, that a third of all people who make this vow will break it with a little liquor and a night out on the town?
Or are people just extremely non-commital in the modern world, and view temporary pleasure or food as a greater reward than long-term stoicism or self-restraint for the sake of a greater goal?
That's for the vegetarians to figure out. And as for the rest of us, who eat meat, uncaring or unknowing about the environmental consequences, we will continue to do what we do with a perfectly fine conscience, and the Earth we leave in the wake of factory farming... well, eh, everything's doomed anyway.
And that's the conscience of the age: everything's doomed anyway. So why make a vow? Why change your behavior? Just do what feels right, never have kids, and go away into the dark night. Okay. Jeez. Maybe it's time to sort ourselves out?