Twitter is torn over the idea of a Flamin' Hot Cheetos Thanksgiving turkey
Although you don't really think of it much of the time, a huge part of living in the food world is all about innovation. Food companies are forever trying to top themselves with new burgers, dips and sides, or they're trying to figure out ways to improve on flagship offerings. But while that innovation's given us plenty of really cool stuff, there are some really, really bad food inventions out there that we really, really should have recognised as a bad idea.
I'm not here to talk about pineapple on pizza or anything else that's polarising - no, some things should simply not be, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a Flamin' Hot Cheetos Thanksgiving turkey is one of those things that we should have thought about, and never, ever brought to life.
Do you ever sit down with your family and loved ones at Thanksgiving, look at the turkey painstakingly prepared by your mom over several stressful hours, and say to everybody: "Gee, you know what this meal needs? A load of that snack which sent that rapper Lil Xan to hospital that one time. Wait, Mom, why are you crying?"
But while I feel like this is a bad idea, there's a restaurant out there that decided to not only make this, but knowingly inflict it on other people. Some deeply, deeply disturbed individual at Reynolds Kitchen has given us an idea for the Flavor Blasted Turkey, which is exactly as it sounds: a Thanksgiving turkey, coated in crushed-up Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Of course, this is little more than a demented serving suggestion, but even so, the Flamin' Hot Cheetos turkey has caused quite a bit of division online, as Twitter, ever quick to polarise, is split pretty much down the middle on this alternative Thanksgiving bird.
Pretty much even, isn't it? Look, I'm not going to convince you guys either way; you're either for this or you aren't, but while I can't tell you to go to a psychiatrist, what I can do is refer you to a doctor who explains why it's probably not a good idea to coat a turkey in Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Long story short: there's a reason that the cheesy snack sent Lil Xan to the hospital, and Dr. Robert Glatter, emergency physician at Lenox Hill Hospital, says that eating that many Cheetos in one sitting could send you on a similar path to Lil Xan. No, I don't mean it might make you a famous rapper - I mean it might send you to the emergency room.
Speaking to MensHealth, Dr Glatter explained that the Cheetos would increase the acid in your stomach significantly, leaving your stomach lining inflamed. When you bring nausea, abdominal pain and oh God, so much burning, into the equation, you're looking at discomfort that could lead you going to the hospital.
But even so, Glatter suspects you're probably going to try it anyway (because you are), and has one final piece of probably-futile advice: for Pete's sake, please don't overdo it. "The spice can settle into the meat, so you're eating more than what's just on the surface of the turkey," he explains, saying it'll take a lot less to make you sick than what you're thinking. "It’s a recipe for disaster in my mind, creating a perfect storm for an ER visit on Thanksgiving."
Well, there you have it, folks. Whether you're having your turkey with Flamin' Hot Cheetos or just with stuffing and cranberry sauce, the most important thing to remember this Thanksgiving is to enjoy it. Oh, and try not to end up in the emergency room.