Hilarious dad writes brutally honest CV for his 'lazy' and 'messy' daughter
Stepping into the bad, bad world of employment is a scary hurdle that many of us have to face during our teenage years. After a lifetime of coasting and relying on our parents to line our pockets with enough cash for PlayStation games and candy, the time comes when their money tap stops and we have to go out and fend for ourselves.
The first step in this progression is writing your CV. While you may have no job experience at the time, you need to make yourself employable by listing your grades, how punctual you are and banging on about how great your work ethic is. What you don't need to do, however, is list all your negative points, such as your knack for "fucking everything up" and "being messy".
Unfortunately, for one unlucky girl, this is exactly what her CV lists her skills as.
Lauren Moore, a 16-year-old from Recar, North Yorkshire, currently has her skills listed as "getting on her dads t*ts" and "giving out all clients information to fraudsters." However, it wasn't Lauren who created this list, it was her father.
Yes, in what is the dad joke of all dad jokes, Lauren asked her dad to help her create her CV and he used it as an opportunity to list all of the things that he finds annoying about her. Luckily for Lauren, she saw the funny side of the whole ordeal and took to Twitter to share it with her followers, writing: "Remind me not to let my dad do my CV for me."
Other duties to Lauren has taken on in the past include digging holes for gold while working at a voluntary position as a gardener.
Also, underneath her Interests and Personal Information, rather than listing things that his daughter has an interest in or does in her spare time, her father simply wrote: "F**k all."
Then, just to complete his hilarious tirade against his daughter, in the references, Lauren's dad listed a probation officer who is apparently called "Ben Dover." Get it? Ben Dover. Bend Over. However, apparently, he's not worth getting in contact with as "he doesn't give a f**k either".
Lauren's friends seemed to find the prank pretty funny, with one person saying: "This is so funny, 'giving out all clients' information to fraudsters,'" another saying that they were "SCREAMING," and a third saying that they were "Creased".
According to Lauren, her father was simply "trying to get on my good side by being unfunny," but also pleaded: "Someone hire me now"
I mean, the joke is kinda funny, but the dad is a little passive-aggressive with the way he goes about it. Still, with a CV like this, it's highly unlikely that Lauren will be getting a job anytime soon, giving her more opportunities to do what she does best: Get on her dad's t*ts.