12 Things women do just before sex but never admit to
Maybe you've got a hot date coming up or you've sent a racy text to your significant other at the start of the day – there are times when you know you've got a good banging ahead of you. Sure, a lot of the time sex is spontaneous, but even so, there are a bunch of little things we do right before sex that our partner's don't know about.
If you've got the whole day to kill before getting it on, or even just a candlelit dinner during which to prepare, here are 12 little things women do just before sex that they would never admit to.
1. Delve into the darkest depths of your underwear drawer for that set of lingerie you never wear
And pretend like this is just you on the regular. Also, you'll probably steer clear of anything that'll frighten the man like body-shaping undies or boob tape.
2. Pick clothes that are easy to get out of
There's nothing that kills the mood quite like crashing to the floor after tripping over the skinny jeans you're trying to wrangle your way out of.
3. Brush your teeth and continually pop a mint/gum thereafter
... In order to prevent something like breath that is so repulsive he'll actually topple over from the stench when the time comes to lock lips.
4. Monitor what you eat all day long
Maybe you'll steer clear of foods that'll bloat you or leave you a bit gassy (no Mexican bean soup for you young lady), and some people even get worried that anything too garlicky or with onions will permeate from their body down there.
5. Get yourself smelling gooood
You'll probably do a number of smell checks everywhere your nose can reach, and then go forth with an excessive amount of deodorant (which you always keep handy anyway) and spritz away with perfume. Some girls even put perfume or scented oils in their hair.
6. Shave/wax/epilate every inch of your body
And give the illusion that you are a perfectly smooth, hairless creature who isn't capable of growing something as foul as leg hair. (Pfft).
7. And then moisturise everywhere
"Oh your skin is so soft," – mm-hmm, yeah it is – because I've slathered myself in lotion on purpose to get to this soft suppleness.
8. Do a little mental check about your birth control
Did you take the pill this morning? Do you have a condom handy? These are the little things you keep in mind to make sure everything goes smoothly.
9. Tidy your place so it looks like you've actually got it together
Relieve "that chair" in your room from the weight of half your wardrobe and move all those empty mugs into the kitchen. Or just, you know, stuff everything under the bed.
10. Maybe you'll even chuck on some candles or a (less-explicitly titled) "sex playlist"
You know, like R Kelly's Ignition or some good ole Sexual Healing. If in doubt – just go for something with a sax in it.
11. Go for a quick pee before doing the deed
Maybe to ease the nerves but also to make sure nothing unexpected happens in there...
12. Check yourself in the mirror a million times
Just in case you randomly have spinach in your teeth or you have to readjust your outfit again so your skirt sits just right.
Yes, it's a lot of silly obsessive things, but a girl's gotta feel right and ready. So if that means you're starting to get a tiny stomach ache due to the excessive number of mints you've consumed, so be it.