10 People reveal the dumbest thing they did to impress their crush
Oh, love. You know, that terrible thing that consumes your thoughts, turns you into a ball of nerves and drives your friends crazy as you're no longer capable of talking about anything other than the object of your affections? It's just grand.
As if this wasn't enough, the unfortunate souls who are contending with the bittersweet rollercoaster that is having a crush apparently have the odds stacked against them too. As the old adage informs us, the path of true love never does run smooth. And indeed, if you've gone down this treacherous path enough times, you'll know that this largely holds true.
Case in point: here are 10 people from Reddit sharing the absolute craziest things they did to impress their crush. Brace yourself, it's a wild ride.
1. Christmas is cancelled, folks
"I dressed up as Santa and asked her to the Christmas Dance in front of the entire school. We had been dating for a while. She dumped me shortly after to go out with some college guy she later married. I hate Christmas."
2. Now, this is some risky business
"I swam across a river filled with crocodiles. When we were together she admitted that this was the one thing that made her have second thoughts about going out with me. Don’t try to impress crushes, just talk to them, even if swimming across a crocodile-filled river seems easier."
3. A bad habit
"When I was 12, I started biting my fingernails because I thought that would bring me closer to my crush who also bit his nails. Obviously, that didn’t work out and here I am at 21 and still biting my nails."
4. There's some commitment
"I intentionally fell off the slide in like grade 4. My right shoulder always hurts 12 years later."
5. Pain seems to be a common theme here...
"When I was like 10 or 12, I hid behind a building and punched myself in the face so that this girl I liked would see that I can bleed without crying."
6. And you didn't even enjoy it
"She worked at a burger place. I was absolutely infatuated with her, would have done anything to see her, let alone impress her. The place she worked had a challenge to eat four 6oz patties on a burger in a time-trial-esque manner. Top time went to the next stage, winner won a lot of money or something.
"I went there to impress her and ordered it, she sat with me to record my time. Mind you, I was pretty large at the time, around 60lbs overweight. They brought the burger out and I didn’t even give it time to cool.
"My fat ass sat alone in front of the girl of my dreams at her place of employment and wolfed down a burger way too big for any normal person all the while slightly whimpering as it burned the roof of my mouth. Can you say alpha? I couldn’t because I burned my mouth. It hurt for like 3 days too, and I was out like $15."
"Grade 2. Stole one girls sweater to impress other girl. Hid it in the boys bathroom. Did not get girl. Got detention."
8. There's always a silver lining
"I signed up for a half marathon training group so I could spend more time around him. Oh, and his girlfriend is also in the running group. At least I’m getting in good shape."
9. That must have been expensive!
"I went on a date with a girl in high school, we had a few classes together and I liked her quite a bit. The date actually went really well, so I drove her home and walked her to the door, got a hug, and went back to my car. Well, she gives me the cute little behind the shoulder blown-kiss. So, my dumbass decides to impress her by backing out of her driveway as fast as I could.
"At this time I was driving a 1993 S10 Blazer with a rather egregious trailer hitch. I rammed her neighbour’s brand new Honda, hitch first. My hitch hit right between the rear quarter panel and door, destroying both. This car was literally on two wheels, impaled by my PoS SUV. I haven’t talked to her since, but her neighbour is a cool guy and we actually talk frequently."
10. Nothing like bacon to show that you care!
"This girl I liked wanted bacon. I lived about 30 minutes away but I picked up bacon and bacon dip and drove to her. Turns out she and her friends wanted bacon. So I made bacon and didn’t get to eat any of it and then she had to go to work. Why…"
Well, there you have it. I bet all your romantic mishaps don't seem so bad now, do they?