12 Most awkward things to say after sex
It's exciting when you find someone who actually wants to have sex with you, and you don't want to do anything to mess it up. It's a serious, passionate act. You want to be charming, seductive and impressive, so hopefully your partner will let you do it again. (And again and again and again.)
When you're between the sheets, the last thing you want is an awkward moment, like your roommate walking in, or your body making a weird noise. And when you're done, you don't want to say something cringeworthy to leave your partner with a bad impression.
Well, you're about to learn what to avoid. A Reddit user asked, "What's the most awkward thing to say after sex?" These are the 12 best responses.
1. "Hey nice! We got over 50k hits! Viewers loved it"
Well, better to go viral on YouTube than with an STD.
2. "You're about as good as your sister"
Competition is healthy.
3. "That'll do, pig. That'll do."
Everybody loves the 1995 comedy-drama Babe, right?
4. "Good try"
It's important to be supportive.
5. "I'm sorry"
It's also important to be honest.
6. "Thank you for letting me ejaculate inside you."
Women like when men are direct.
7. "And boom goes the dynamite"
Never gets old!
8. "Did you feel it? Did I get it in? When does the condom go on?"
There's no such thing as a bad question.
9. "Should I call an Uber now or"
Don't do it if it's surge pricing.
10. "Thanks mom, can we have KFC for dinner later?"
You gotta love your family.
11. "I had a guy whisper "Good mermaid" in my ear right after he came..."
12. "How much do I owe you?"
You can put a price on love.
So, no matter how awkward it gets in the bedroom, be thankful you didn't say any of these things. And if you did say any of these things, it's not the worst thing that can happen during sex. The worst thing that could happen is a penis snapping...