6 'Romantic' gestures that are actually serious relationship red flags
Dating can be such a minefield sometimes, and when meeting new people, it's all too easy to mistake a vice for a virtue. The majority of people in life would like to be with a partner who's caring, empathetic, and not afraid of commitment. Not only that, but if you're a big fan of classic rom coms and romance novels, then it's easy to end up conditioned by narratives to expect grand gestures and showboating to be the norm, when in actual fact they could be used by the person you're seeing to cover up some pretty glaring personal flaws. Confused? Then scroll down to check out six apparently-romantic gestures which could, in reality, be hiding some pretty nasty red flags.
1. They care too much about their appearance
Most people would balk at the idea of someone who didn't take pride in their appearance; but there's a distinct difference between those who want to look good and those who are obsessed with their looks. Sure, at first it might feel nice to go out with someone glamorous and fashionable, but it might be an indicator that they have some narcissistic tendencies. Be honest, would you rather spend time watching someone groom themselves or spend it on an actual date?
2. They message you too much
When you've had a successful first date and sparks are flying then it's totally normal to want to text and talk to them a lot. At any rate it's much more romantic than someone who only ever types "sup?" and "lol." But you can overdo it a bit, and someone who goes totally overboard with the messages can run the risk of getting too clingy. Watch out if they fly into a rage if you don't message back soon enough.
3. They over-share on a first date
Trust is an integral part of any relationship, and it's easy to imagine that someone who shares personal stuff with you quickly trusts you and expects that same trust back. But if the conversation turns to old relationships then watch out. If someone goes on and on about their past experiences or complain about a former flame, then take it as a hint that they're not be in the right place to start a new relationship.
4. They want to spend all their time with you
Hearing the words: "I miss you already" sounds flattering on paper, and is very validating. But if you're dating someone who wants to come over to your place every night - even when you've made it clear that you've got other commitments, then you'd better watch out. Someone who wants to dominate your schedule is probably too much of a control freak to be good for you.
5. They're overprotective
If someone says "I don't want you to see anyone else" then it initially sounds like they're really into you. But pick apart that phrase for a second, and it actually sounds a little sinister. Someone saying something like this could be disguising their own jealousy and resentment as care and loyalty. If you find that you're constantly having to defend yourself spending time with other people, then take this as a red flag and get out while you can.
6. They make promises they can't keep
You wouldn't trust someone who kept trying to write cheques that they can't ever cash, and by the same token, people who zealously make sweeping promises that they have no intention of keeping are not good news. If there's a big disconnect between someone's words and their actions, then that's a solid indicator that they just aren't right for you.
If you enjoyed the above list, then why not do yourself a favour and check out this article about 12 of the craziest red flags some people failed to notice in their exes.