KFC are giving away a bearskin taken straight from your worst nightmares
Ladies and gentlemen, by now we're well used to the madness KFC subject us to on a regular basis. Head to a branch of Colonel Sanders flagship fried chicken and you'll have yourself a delicious meal truly fit of the moniker "Finger-Lickin' Good". But spend any sort of time on the internet, and it's a different story.
Would you like a fire log that smells like gravy? What about $11,000 if you named your baby after founder Colonel Harland Sanders? A romance novel featuring the face of KFC as a handsome sailor, perhaps? All things you could get from KFC at some point.
But nothing has gone quite as far as this, and if you ask me, they've gone a little too far this time.
A welcome addition in front of a fireplace located in any high-class mansion, a bearskin rug is a fluffy addition to any living room that's only horrifying if you think about it too hard. But you know what would make any such decoration worse? Having Colonel Sanders' face, hands and feet attached to it.
Yes, it's true: as part of your Valentine's Day celebrations, KFC want you to get nice and cosy with your special someone on top of the fluffy, flayed faux-corpse of its founder. But don't just take my word for it: Andrea Zahumensky, the chief marketing officer of KFC US, backs that idea up.
"I'm no dating expert, but the only thing I can think of that's more romantic than eating fried chicken on Valentine's Day, is eating fried chicken on a faux bearskin rug created in the likeness of the greatest chicken salesman of all time.”
So... assuming you've got a special someone who you'd like to scare away until the end of time, there are quite a few ways to secure yourself this rather unique bearskin rug (I would say "win", but that word feels like somewhat of a stretch). You're going to need a Reddit account.
There are three ways for fans to win, and they require varying levels of skill, folks. First, those of you with a talent in photo editing, I've got some good news: you all you do to win one is "transform an image of the Colonel Sanders rug into a humorous, outlandish or romantic digital masterpiece".
"We made a .psd for you to mess with. Make it weird but please be cool, our bosses are watching and inappropriate submissions mean you can’t win the rug," they added, so please keep things safe for work.
If you're more of a writer, then try your hand at the storytelling contest: "You and your Valentine arrive at a romantic cabin in the woods. You walk inside to discover a Colonel Sanders Bearskin Rug. Best story wins."
Finally, you can grab a pen and pencil and enter the drawing contest: "Draw this Colonel Sanders Bearskin Rug into a scene and win one IRL." That's three ways to 'win' that bearskin rug, so you've got no excuse for horrifying the object of your affections this Valentine's Day.