Mom absolutely savages husbands who expect their wives to do housework in viral post
Back in the day, marriage was all about duty, joining families (ahem, wealth) and producing offspring to advance their lineage. But since then, it's arguably turned more into a gesture, where marriage is more about the loving union you declare on paper.
Still, some of those old-fashioned feelings about marriage carry on. For example, it seems that many marriages still can't shake the gender norms and "duties" for men and women. Traditionally, the man would go out and work to provide money for the family. The woman would stay home to clean, look after the kids, and cook meals that would be laid out steaming on the table the moment he walks in and declares: "Honey, I'm home!"
But things are different now. Women are just as much of a part of the workforce as men, so why is it that housework still falls largely on the woman?
Of course, we shouldn't make generalisations that discredit the couples who prefer to go with the 'stay-at-home-mom' kind of structure, and we need to acknowledge that there are plenty of couples who split household chores simply because they both live there.
But I digress.
A little while ago, blogger Constance Hall took to Facebook to share a (well-justified) rant about the share of housework in her family home. With young kids who attend school, the mother complained about her huge workload which often seemed to go unnoticed by her husband, who never thought to help out around the home unless he was specifically asked.
Her post went viral, showing just how many people could relate. Constance started out by sharing a piece of advice she got from someone who told her that all she needed to do was "to be specific" when asking for help.
But while Constance tried this, it lead her to realise that her husband would only do something if he was asked. His apparent lack of consideration or even recognition about what needed to be done around the home only infuriated her further.
"And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking...?
Constance said she became "exhausted" and tired of her own "constant nagging". In the end, she decided it was really up to him (or whoever the lazy counterpart in any relationship is) to "just think about each other" and figure out what to do themselves.
"I've come to the conclusion that it's not your job to ask for help, it's not my job to write f*cking lists," she wrote. "We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them. Just do it. Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house."
Constance warned that when you get too tired of constantly asking for help, it might lead to "silent resentment", something she described as "relationship cancer".
"It's not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That's your job. Just do the f*cking dishes without being asked once in a while mother f*ckers."
You can read the entire post here:
The emotional labour that is added on top of the physical work shouldn't be underestimated. If you both live there, both work and both have busy lifestyles, isn't it fair to split the chores – knowing that you should be, without being specifically asked?