New book reveals the secret to staying together in a long term relationship
When in the throes of love, every moment you spend with your significant other feels headier than the next. And as such, it's easy to romanticize your time together; every gesture becomes reminiscent of a scene from a Hollywood movie and each whispered "I love you" reads like a profession of undying love. Yes, when in the honeymoon stage, it's all too easy to get caught up in the belief that you've finally found your person, and that everything is perfect. And sure, you may end up spending the rest of your life with this individual, but you also have to accept that things will undoubtedly change as reality starts to seep into your blissful union.
In case I need to break it to you, here it is: you're not going to be projecting virtual heart-eyes at your significant other for years on end. No, it's going to begin by you suddenly finding their once-adorable quirks irritating, and then you'll bicker before having fully-fledged rows. But don't fret, it's all normal, and perhaps one of the most significant points in your time together as it's when you realise whether you're meant to be, or not.
However, no matter how content or in love you are, we have all wondered what the secret to having a fulfilling, long-term relationship is. And apparently, the answer is a lot more innocuous than we all hoped it would be. According to Mark Manson, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k, being boring together is the key to sustaining romantic attachments.
During an interview with Business Insider, the best-selling author crushed our inner-romantics by stating that the key to sustaining long-term relationships is being "boring".
Speaking to the publication, Mark began, "I think, if you look at a relationship, I actually think it should be as boring as possible."
"And that sounds really weird to people but if you think about it, a really happy 80-year-old couple that's been together for 60 years, the reason that they've been together for 60 years, it isn't because they took all these private jets and they had these crazy vacations and 'Oh my God, look at their pictures'. It's because that they were able to be boring together," he continued.
Now, while this may sound bizarre to many of us, Mark offered the following explanation:
"They are able to spend year after year, sitting around the house, talking about the same boring stuff, watching TV, watching movies, cooking dinner, and it went fine. There was nothing exciting, there's nothing blowing up, there's no huge drama, and dishes flying."
And to some extent, it does make sense, if nothing spectacular happens, nothing spectacularly bad can happen either; you just slip into peaceful complacency and enjoy each other's company. Sure there will never be any fireworks, but would you choose that over a less exciting but ultimately enduring relationship? It's up to you.
In related news, here are 10 weird things that everyone in a long-term relationship does.