This is how you know if your new relationship is moving too quickly
In this era of modern love that we live in, we're only just figuring out the proper etiquette of how to behave on Tinder dates. Certainly, mastering the act of seeming interested but not too interested can be tough, and we've just about come to terms with the fact that the three-day calling rule no longer applies to anyone under the big 3-0. But eventually, after a thousand or so "matches" and a dozen face-to-face encounters, you come to learn the basic protocols of dating in the digital age.
The difficulty of sustaining a long-term relationship, however, dates back to the very beginnings of monogamy. While the people of the internet claim that all it takes to maintain a fulfilling partnership is doing activities together and having sex on the regular, it's apparent that there's much more at stake - especially during the initial stages.
Certainly, many worry about whether they're moving at the "right" pace. Now, of course there are no hard or fast rules for how quickly a relationship should move, but it's evident that moving too fast is always a bad move. Here are 4 signs that you and your partner are getting ahead of yourselves...
1. You're not getting much time to yourself
According to Carole Ann Rice - a life coach who specialises in relationships - protecting your alone time is tantamount to a healthy relationship. "In a new relationship, it seldom occurs where you spend every minute of every day with a person," she asserts. "If your partner is constantly asking you where you are, wanting to know exactly what you’re doing, or even asking to be with you more than you wish for, it is a sure sign that your relationship could be moving too quickly."
2. You've met their family before you were ready
While we're all intimidated by the prospect of meeting someone's family for the first time, as Carole says: "It's a huge milestone for many people as it adds a new dimension to the relationship." However, she emphasises that it can be "highly stressful, and maybe even a little intimidating."
As such, she advises that if you're not feeling ready, it's best to delay the encounter as you run the risk of setting a bad impression and potentially dampening the relationship.
3. You're excessively planning for the future
While it's all too easy to get carried away when in the initial throes of love, it can quickly go too far. "If the plans are getting a little out of your comfort zone, this is a red flag. If you've just started dating someone, and they’re already trying to discuss major life events like buying a home, children, and marriage, it is time to slow down," Carole states.
However, she added that thinking about the future isn't always a bad thing. For example, if your planning is aiding "organisation" it can also help you "enhance each other's goals".
4. You're feeling tied down
While you may naturally want commitment from someone that you're interested in, Carole asserts that "the blanket of security has to be there in order for it to flourish." Indeed, in order to ultimately have a happy and healthy relationship, it should be "natural, easy, and mov[ing] at a pace that is right for both parties".
"If your partner is making decisions for you, obligating you to things that make you uncomfortable, or assuming that you agree without consulting how you feel, then it’s time to slow it down," Carole continued.
Well, there you have it. Are you moving too fast, or not fast enough?