The internet is horrified after discovering the existence of the Pot Noodle sandwich
Now usually, I'm not here to judge. In this weird and wonderful world, we all have to do what we can (within reason) to put food on the table, and as long as it keeps you alive, it doesn't really matter what food that is. This goes double for when you're at university or college.
You're on your own for the first time, you have absolutely no money for cooking or takeaways, and that's where you see the grimmest, most depressing dinners of all time. I once ran out of money mid-month, and had to subsist solely on fish finger sandwiches (keeping myself fed for two solid weeks on a frankly lavish total of £3.30).
But even then, there's a limit to how sad things should conceivably get, no matter your walk of life. But what's the difference between a money-saving life hack and a desperate, depraved foray into the world of depressing meals? I've no idea, but let's take a look at this sandwich right in the middle of those extremes and try to understand a bit more.
Okay, now there's few foods more synonymous with falling on hard times than instant noodles. Pot Noodles are always delicious, no matter how much you've got on your bank account, but they're extra good when that amount is not very much. So, the only thing to consider is how to eat your noodles - obviously, in a bowl, with a fork.
So imagine my surprise (and horror) when I learned about the Pot Noodle sandwich. The combination of bread and noodles is much like the combination of reality TV star and the Presidential Office; an idea so bad that no-one even thought of actually trying it, and when we did, we were very quickly reminded why it was such a bad idea.
But much like having a reality television star in the White House, there's a weirdly fervent group of supporters for the Pot Noodle sandwich that threatens to give the whole soggy, terrible thing an undeserved legitimacy. This unholy combination of starches first reared its ugly head on Reddit.
Check this from Reddit user uOKhun, who by hitting 'send' on her noodle sandwich post had to have known that she was about to start an internet war. "The only way a Pot Noodle should be eaten", she captioned the post with hopefully a bit of irony, but the internet quickly descended on her, and they had many objections.
"Mods, ban please. From life, [sic]" said one, while another tried to explain why this monstrosity wasn't entirely the original poster's fault: "His or her's brain was for whatever reason deprived of oxegen at birth and or was later dropped on his/her head as a baby. So (s)he doesnt work quite right. [sic]"
But spare a thought for this poster, who's desensitised to food madness after witnessing what can only be described as a hate crime against food.
"Once I saw my cousin pour salt into his chicken pot noodle and then scoop it out using a broken piece of a dairy milk chocolate Easter egg. He said it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be and kept eating it. This post looks completely normal to me after being exposed to that."
Ok, so I've decided: you guys are monsters. Please leave Pot Noodles alone.