There's now an advent calendar for people who hate Christmas
It seems like only yesterday we were at the height of summer, enjoying blue skies and barbecues and not giving the festive season a moment's consideration. Now, all of a sudden, it's October - and instead of everybody talking about the most important holiday of the year (Halloween), we're already on the subject of Christmas.
'Family-sized' boxes of cookies are lining the supermarket shelves, your auntie Margaret has already sent you a misspelled text about what you want Santa to bring you, and, if you listen carefully, the faint sound of Jingle Bells can be heard wafting on the breeze.
For all those weirdos who actually enjoy spending time with distant relatives and spending copious amounts of money on obscure cheeses, I suppose this is a good thing. But for everybody else - the sensible ones, I call us - it's a whole three months of sheer torture.
But fear not, salty Scrooges and grumpy Grinches, for there is something for everybody this holiday season. Instead of a turkey dinner, there's a 24-hour McDonalds. Instead of the Christmas special of Doctor Who, there's that Star Trek box set that your brother re-gifted you from last year. And, instead of a flimsy cardboard calendar filled with questionable-tasting chocolate, there's the 'anti-advent calendar'.
For less than £28 (around $37), you can be the proud owner of this wonderful festive treat: 24 'misfortune cookies', packaged in a delightfully dark box. The sweet treats look similar to regular fortune cookies, but they're black (just like your heart), and come with decidedly more negative messages such as 'Happy? It won't last' and 'At least I believe in you. Me, a piece of paper.'
If that wasn't enough for you, the cookies are vegan, too - so even the true Debbie-downers who don't welcome the joy of meat and dairy in their lives can suffer through Christmas in style.
According to the Prezzybox website, you can:
'Have a wonderfully macabre Christmas with this anti-advent calendar, filled to the brim with misfortune and dismay. Be filled with woe as you open each advent door to one of Pechkek's Misfortune Cookies, which are guaranteed to spread festive gloom.'
So as everybody else is tucking in to a little robin-shaped snack, you can chow-down on a coal-coloured feast that's a little more suited to your tastes.
Of course, if you are actually somebody who enjoys 'the most wonderful time of the year', this is not the thing for you. BUT, everybody has that one friend who refuses to put up a tree or join in with the festive jumper trend - so why not get one for them?
Imagine the conflicted sense of happiness they'll feel when they receive a gift on December 1st, and then find that it perfectly captures the bleakness and misery of their very soul. They won't know what to do with themselves.
And what better gift to give somebody who hates presents than 24 individually-wrapped messages of nihilism? Well, other than some foot-flavoured cheese, of course. You can check it out for yourself here.