Earlier this month, construction workers in Egypt discovered a mysterious black sarcophagus buried 16 feet below the ground. The 30-ton sealed granite coffin is the largest to be discovered in the port city of Alexandria. Archaeologists believe it is 2,000 years old, dating back to the early Ptolemaic period, which began around 323 B.C. Since that's when Alexander The Great died, some people speculated it might contain his remains.
The relic's discovery caused a stir. When you check the news, you always see stories about Kim Kardashian, but you rarely see stories about a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus. British news outlets speculated about its contents and people grew fascinated by warnings of an ancient curse. Seriously. According to The Sun, when you disturb an ancient Egyptian tomb, you risk getting stricken with the "curse of the pharaohs."
"King Tutankhamun's tomb opening in 1922 was followed by a string of deaths of people involved with the discovery. Archaeologists, and even their family members, died from horrible illnesses or in strange accidents – and some say the deaths weren't a coincidence."
On Wednesday, archaeologists pried open the ancient coffin and discovered a gruesome scene inside: three skeletons submerged in red sewage water. (The water came from a leak and catalyzed their bodies' decomposition.)
According to Egypt's Ministry of Antiquities, the corpses likely belong to three soldiers. Officials believe one of them died from blow to the skull with a sharp instrument, possibly an arrow. The skeletons will be taken to the Alexandria's National Restoration Museum for further analysis to determine their cause of death.
"The sarcophagus has been opened, but we have not been hit by a curse," joked Mustafa Waziri, secretary general of the Ministry of Antiquities, speaking with Egypt Today. The website published live updates as the coffin was being opened. In one update, Waziri shut down speculation that one of the decomposed mummies was Alexander The Great.
" Waziri stressed that none of the three mummies belong to a Ptolemaic or Roman royal family and the coffin does not have inscriptions or a cartouche bearing their names. He further pointed out that no evidence such as silver or gold metallic masks, small statues, amulets or inscriptions were found to prove that the mummies belong to a royal family.
In this regard, he denied the rumors spread by some international newspapers that opening the sarcophagus would unleash the curse that would bring disaster to the world."
These archaeologists seem pretty confident they avoided getting hit with an ancient curse. What fools! I predict that one day in the near future the museum will discover that the three skeletons have mysteriously disappeared, and we will have to call upon a super-team of Brendan Fraser, Nicholas Cage and Keanu Reeves to vanquish the mummies before they can attack the archaeologists. But that is just speculation.
After the archaeologists finish solving this mystery, they try to figure why a giant shirtless statue of Jeff Goldblum popped up in London.
