Cards Against Humanity buy land on U.S.-Mexican border so Trump can't build his wall
Donald Trump has a lot of stupid ideas - that's why his Secretary of State called him a "moron." But his stupidest idea has to be building a wall between the United States and Mexico. It's ridiculously expensive, would not effectively fight illegal immigration, and is not even logistically possible, because there are mountain ranges, rivers and towns in the way. (Also, when asked if Mexico would pay for it, the Mexican President said "F--- no!")
Yet Trump has persisted with his plan. He's released photos of what the wall would look like, and drone photographs show prototypes being constructed. It's still a long way from becoming a reality, but it sucks there's a chance it might happen. Experts say the wall could cost anywhere from 20 billion to 70 billion - really? We can afford to spend all that money on a wall, but we can't afford to pay for universal health care? What is wrong with people?
Luckily, an unlikely hero has stepped up: Cards Against Humanity.
The number one selling party game lets users complete fill-in-the-blank statements with offensive, politically incorrect phrases. Eight students from Highland Park High School created it in 2011. Since then, it's entertained people at parties all over all the world (at least, until the card combinations get stale.)
Now the company - which is totally independent - has come up with a brilliant new promotion that will save America.
Here's how it works: The Cards Against Humanity team bought a piece of vacant land on the U.S. / Mexican border, and will make it extremely difficult for Trump to build his wall. They're asking fans to donate $15 to help with the costs, and they'll get "six surprises" in the mail as a fun bonus (if the idea of getting a "surprise" present from Cards Against Humanity doesn't terrify you).
On CardsAgainstHumanitySavesAmerica.com, they explain:
"Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a $20 billion wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing.
So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built."
Make sure to check out the "Frequently Asked Questions," because they're pretty funny:
"YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T GOING TO DO ONE OF THESE COMPLICATED HOLIDAY PROMOTIONS AGAIN.
We’re liars, just like the president.
I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU’RE GETTING POLITICAL. WHY DON’T YOU JUST STICK TO CARD GAMES?
Why don’t you stick to seeing how many Hot Wheels cars you can fit up your asshole?
I DON’T LIVE IN THE US OR CANADA. CAN I STILL SIGN UP?
No. This is Cards Against Humanity Saves America, not Cards Against Humanity Saves The Dumb Country You Live In.
I’D LIKE TO CANCEL MY ORDER.
We’d like to cancel the 2016 election, but neither of us is going to get what we want.
IS CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT NOW? We’re just being regular correct."
Thanks for saving America, Cards Against Humanity! I'm more of a Scrabble guy, but what has Scrabble done to save America? Nothing, that's what. Step your game up, Scrabble.