Costco is selling a 600-can doomsday kit to help shoppers survive the end of the world
It's fair to say that we're living in anxious times and facing an uncertain future. It's not completely paranoid to be worried about the continued survival of civilisation. Recently, we've seen a profound escalation in nuclear tensions between North Korea and the west and an increasingly divided United States.
It's enough to make anyone want to prepare for the worst. But just how much food would you need to stockpile to survive a nuclear disaster? It would be a staggering amount of goods with a very long shelf life. Luckily, if you're thinking about knocking up a bunker and sheltering from fallout when the bombs fall, Costco has the answer to your post-apocalyptic prayers.
The wholesale supermarket has just launched a number of apocalypse survival kits, which you can view on their site, to keep you and your loved-ones well-fed for a year just in case a nuclear holocaust incinerates all life on Earth. Of course, Costco doesn't bother to say what you're supposed to do when you inevitably you run out of scran after 365 days. I guess that, after that year is up, then surviving the blasted wasteland is your problem (mutated rats are firmly on the menu).
The main survival kit is being sold for the (fairly high) price of $6,000. But if that sounds a little too extortionate for your budget, Costco offers single-person mega-packs for a mere $1,000. The $6,000 kit is designed to feed a family of four, and contains 36,000 servings of grain, fruit, vegetables, protein and dairy products. Costco's website states that buyers can: "Enjoy the comfort in knowing you have the essential foods your family will need to survive an emergency or natural disaster."
The 600-can package includes (deep breath): wheat, white rice, elbow macaroni, rotini, pinto bean flakes, black beans, lentils, instant milk, dehydrated potatoes, beef TVP, chicken TVP, freeze-dried corn, freeze-dried broccoli, freeze-dried green beans, dehydrated apples, butter powder, white Sugar, brown sugar, dehydrated carrots, freeze-dried bananas, freeze-dried raspberries, freeze-dried strawberries, freeze-dried onions, chicken bouillon, shortening powder and iodised salt.
The reviews of the kit seem fairly positive overall. One reviewer going by the handle of "RockFootlongHotDog" wrote: "Literally One-Stop Shopping. This meal kit is delish and nutrish! Perfect for preppers who want to prepare for the apocalypse or lazy guys like me who only want to shop once a year. Good variety so you don't get bored of the food easily. If you buy this make sure to upgrade the Executive Membership and get two per cent back. [sic]" Another reviewer wrote: "Just-in-case food stock, as advertised. No problems ... 10 cans in ... in discreet plan brown boxes. Thank you Costco for carrying emergency products."
Although it's worrying to contemplate, Costco's apocalypse kit might just be more necessary than ever right now. According to the experts who manage the Doomsday Clock, which represents how close humanity is to a global disaster, our species is currently teetering on the brink. A statement released by officials working for the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists' Science and Security Board for 2018 states that the Doomsday clock currently stands at two minutes to midnight.
The statement reads: "The year just past proved perilous and chaotic, a year in which many of the risks foreshadowed in our last Clock statement came into full relief. In 2017, we saw reckless language in the nuclear realm heat up already dangerous situations and re-learned that minimising evidence-based assessments regarding climate and other global challenges does not lead to better public policies ... Major nuclear actors are on the cusp of a new arms race, one that will be very expensive and will increase the likelihood of accidents and misperceptions. Across the globe, nuclear weapons are poised to become more rather than less usable because of nations’ investments in their nuclear arsenals."
But even more worrying than this grim prognosis is the final paper written by one of history's foremost scientific thinkers. Apparently, the last work of the late Stephen Hawking's has effectively managed to predict the end of the world.
Featured illustration by Egarcigu