We've all been there.
Trudging home on a Friday night, your ears still ringing and your head still spinning from the festivities that occurred that day, you feel that rumbling in your stomach, and in that moment, you immediately regret not heading to that McDonald's and ordering 40 chicken nuggets.
Now, you're hungry. If you're anything like me, though, you won't resort to cereal, or a bag of crisps or anything like that.
No: you want something big, you want it hot and if possible, you want it cheesy. I can't even tell you the number of times I've stuck something in the oven after a heavy night of drinking, but I can tell you the number of times I've actually eaten that food: three.
Three times, I've followed that drunk craving through to its delicious conclusion, but every other time, I've woken up in the morning to a smoky smell in my kitchen, a blackened mess in the oven, and at least one annoyed roommate carrying a fire extinguisher.
It's one of the main pitfalls of cooking drunk, so I can identify personally with this man who tried to bake cookies on a George Foreman grill.
Coming to us from a town called Niceville in Florida (of course it's Florida), where the local Niceville firefighters were called to a house at some point last week. They knocked on the door, and a drunk, naked man answered.
According to the analysis from the Fire Department, the man in question here had gotten hungry for some cookies, and so decided to bake them on his George Foreman grill, which is an electric grill designed to cook meat while also getting rid of excess fat. So: not great for baking cookies on.
Inevitably, the cookies caught fire, so the man in question here placed towels over the grill to dampen the flames. These also quickly caught fire, and this is the state in which the Fire Department found our mystery man. "I'm sorry," he said, and closed the door again.
Concerned that the man wasn't quite aware of the danger he was in, the firefighters detained our wannabe baker so that he didn't accidentally kill himself; there were several items on fire inside the household, and had he stayed in the house any longer, firefighters revealed, he would probably have died from smoke inhalation.
An officer said that he and another officer were in the house for about five minutes, and struggled to breathe. It was then that the man in question admitted to having drunk two litres of vodka since nine o'clock that morning, not to mention having smoked weed.
He was examined at the scene and was found to have no life-threatening injuries, though he did refuse further medical treatment. Turns out, though he was drunk, high, naked and almost burned his house down, he hadn't actually done anything illegal; at that point, firefighters had no option but to leave him to do his thing.
Let's hope this man got his cookies in the end. Let's hope he used the oven this time.
