Local law enforcement have a much easier ride with social media on their side. Previously, if they needed the public's help in tracking someone down, they would have to rely on maybe some local news coverage or posters shared around town that could be easily missed.
Nowadays, police departments can simply upload a photo of a suspect and any information they have on them onto Facebook, asking the community whether they've seen them. Users can share the photo or provide info, and the whole operation goes down far more smoothly. Or, at least, it's meant to...
The Police Department for Richland, Washington recently appealed to Facebook for information Anthony Akers, 38, wanted for 'Failure to Comply', but they didn't get the response they expected.
Soon enough they did get some information - but from the perp himself. Akers himself turned up in the comment section, not shying away from admitting to his law-breaking and claiming he'd be with them soon. "Calm down, im going to turn myself in," he wrote, to the delight of other users.
But that wasn't the end of the story, as Akers didn't make it easy for the police to catch up to him. In fact, he was playing hard to get. After a few days, the 38-year-old had kept them waiting, so the police department had to comment again on the post, optimistically hoping that he'd actually turn up sometime.
Honestly, they kept their very best customer service lingo down despite getting completely ghosted, writing:
"Hey Anthony! We haven’t seen you yet. Our business hours are 8:00am – 5:00pm Monday. Of course if you need a ride you can call non-emergency and we will pick you up. [sic]"
After all that, he did get back to them, offering a vague explanation why he hadn't turned up yet. "thank you, tying up a couple loose ends since I will probably be in there a month," he commented. "Should be there in the next 48 hours."
It's strange to think of a police department patiently waiting for someone to turn themselves in while they got some errands out of the way. He may have some important life tasks to do, or he could be catching up on Game of Thrones, we'll never know. But a few days later, one commenter asked the police if he'd turned him in, and got a negative response.
That's when he gave them a lengthy response explaining his failure to turn up, and turning the situation into a fully-fledged rom-com. "Dear RPD, its not you, its me," he wrote. "I obviously have commitment issues."
"I apologize for standing you up, but let me make it up to you. I will be there no later then lunchtime tomorrow, I know you have no reason to believe me after what i did to you, but I promise that if I don’t make it on my own by lunchtime tomorrow I will call for a ride to assist me with my commitment issues.
"Thank you in advance to your response if you are patiently giving me another chance with us, I know i dont deserve it. P.S. You’re beautiful."
If you're starting to think that this guy has clearly just legged it and gotten out of state, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find out that this has a happy ending - as he finally turned up on their doorstep... eventually.
What a beautiful love story.
