This man believes that he is Jesus, and has the disciples to prove it
They say that you do mad things when you're hungry, and this certainly applies to some people more than others. While we're all liable to losing our minds and focus over the faintest of tummy rumbles, one man ended up believing that he was Jesus Christ... seriously.
At some point in 1979, Alvaro Theiss was undertaking a fast when he came to believe that he was Jesus Christ reincarnated. According to Alvaro, he received a divine message from a voice inside of his head and, in the days that followed, he became Jesus Christ 2.0.
In order to really get into character, Alvaro shed his former name and began to refer to himself as INRI Cristo, a tribute to the inscription “Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum” that the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate inscribed on the cross on which the original Jesus was crucified.
However, while it may be easy to simply dismiss Alvaro as simply a mad old man, he actually has 12 disciples who hang off of his every word. INRI lives with his followers - of whom three are men and nine are women - in a compound guarded by barbed wire and an electric fence (and you thought Jesus was welcoming!). The compound is located just outside of Brasilia, Brazil, and INRI has given it the genius name of New Jerusalem. Original, right?
INRI's disciples always dress in sky blue colours and, much like Kris Jenner did with her daughters, he has decided to give them names that all begin with the same letter. While Kris went for the letter 'K', INRI opted for 'A' when it came to naming his followers. The youngest, Alar, was brought to New Jerusalem by her parents as a child. 25 years later, she is now Jesus' personal assistant (imagine putting that on your CV) and is tasked with sorting out his clothes and turning on his iPad.
According to INRI, he has been celibate since his divine intervention in 1979 and he uses his unused sexual energy to communicate with God. He also claims that those who live with him in his compound are also celibate.
In order to show people that he is Christ reincarnated, INRI likes to reminisce about his previous life publicly. But, as you can imagine, Jesus has changed since those days and now loves technology and enjoys reinterpreting the final verses of the Bible.
For example, in Revelations 1, verse 7, Jesus is promised to be “coming with the clouds,” something which INRI takes to mean that he is free to travel the world by airplane. On top of this, the verse continues that “every eye will see” the coming Messiah, which INRI interprets as a mandate to spread his message on television and on the internet.
INRI's version of Jesus preaches on his YouTube channel and on Facebook Live, where he has over 330,000 followers. However, while he may be able to turn water into wine, Jesus isn't able to edit his own videos, so gets his disciples to do that for him.
But being a Messiah in the digital age comes with its downsides. Due to the fact that INRI preaches on a public platform, it means that he opens himself up to a world of internet trolls and abuse. A lot of people enjoy his message and his charisma, but others are not so keen and call him the kind of false prophet that is warned about in the New Testament. One woman went as far as to tell him to “Delete this page and repent!”
Whether or not INRI is Jesus reincarnated (he defo isn't), there are quite a few gems to take from this story. Firstly, Jesus hates the outside world and does all that he can to keep it out, secondly, he is clearly a fan of the Kris Jenner business plan, and lastly, Jesus Christ, for all his divine ability, cannot work an iPad. What a time to be alive.