A man robbed a McDonald's with a knife and waved his genitals around
Ah, McDonald's. It's the center of corporate conglomeration and a community center at the same time. People come to play chess, drink coffee, eat food or just sit and be left alone. But it seems that when something goes down at a fast food establishment, rarely is it a Wendy's or a Popeye's where some wild stuff is happening. It's always McDonald's. Statistically, it would make sense - there's just more McDonald's on Earth than any other fast food restaurant, I'm sure.
Enter Edward Wright. No, not Edgar Wright, the director of Hot Fuzz. Edward Wright is a homeless man who had been drinking heavily and not taking his usual medications when he walked into a McDonald's in Devon, England around 6:30 am. It's always sad when somebody has nothing left to lose, and has gone so far into their spiraling that any course of action seems better than doing nothing. It's a person going supernova, who slipped between the cracks and found himself without meaning. It's a sad day for someone's child to end up in that kind of situation.
Edward Wright was robbing a gas station when he noticed the McDonald's nearby, and walked up to the glass windows. He had a knife in his hand, and was exceedingly drunk from the night before. Growing increasingly desperate, he made the headline-worthy motion - he took out his d**k and began waving it around, the manager and crew watching as their would-be robber suffered a kind of mental breakdown.
The workers at the McDonald's had locked the doors as he banged on the windows, and Wright was eventually arrested without further incident.
An English judge, Robert Linford, slammed him with charges ranging from armed robbery to exposure. Here's the Judge's statement:
"You were threatening and menacing and completely out of control.
"You threatened someone by making demands of their keys and wallet and the person concerned flees.
"You, it seems, head off to McDonald’s nearby. You try to get in and smash the door.
"You wave your genitals around because you are drunk and stupid. On top of all that, you threaten Mr Milner who happens to be just minding his own business.
"I accept the very difficult circumstances you were living in. That was not your fault that you were homeless.
"It’s to your credit that you’ve expressed remorse and accepted your behaviour was threatening but the fact remains that you were under the influence of a cocktail of alcohol and drugs."
Here's the problem, though - the Judge was gladly merciful in his analysis, but what will become of Mr. Wright after this 32-month prison sentence? To get drunk and rob a McDonald's while homeless is to hit the absolute bottom of human experience. Are we serious about rehabilitation, or do we seek only to punish? It seems that treating his addiction problem would be the first step to getting him off the streets.
And it's not just Wright - being homeless is a mental and physical jail of the worst kind. It's so bad that getting arrested for exposure and robbery is preferable to sleeping the night away sober on the ground. It's a sad situation for all involved.