You can now enjoy real life Mario Kart in Missouri
We all have dreams of some Utopian future, in which life is perfect and, possibly, our childhood fantasies become tangible reality.
When I was growing up, I harbored ambitions of becoming a professional football player, as many young people do. Of course the sad reality is that a select few extraordinarily talented athletes are capable of reaching such dizzy heights of athleticism, and so I mollified myself by living out my delusions of grandeur on computer games.
Of course, it is only when one becomes old enough to discuss athletes considerably younger than themselves that the crushing reality truly dawns on you; you are never going to realize that particular ambition. Any rational person would surely accept this and move on to other, more attainable dreams, though I defy anyone who harbored ambitions of playing professional sport to ever truly let go of the wish that it could somehow become a reality.
Of course, some fantasies are exactly that; giddy fictions that are not only impossible, but frankly would most likely be too dangerous to live out in reality. Seeing as many of our fantasies are informed either by video games or the silver screens of Hollywood, in which action heroes survive improbable jeopardy to be rewarded by imagined riches it is, on the whole, probably a very good thing that we don't have the capability to pursue them in actuality.
Having said that, though, haven't you always thought that, if it could somehow be made in real life, Mario Kart would be possibly the most fun a human being could ever have? I mean, the game is good enough, but imagine if you will hurtling around some effervescent, technicolor track or another, hurling mushrooms at your opposition and steering with such blithe abandon that the road in front of you becomes a blur.
Well, dream no longer, because it turns out that a real life Mario Kart race track has opened in Missouri, and it is simply spectacular.
While drivers might not be permitted to fling projectiles at one another as they zoom around the track - and for good reason considering the undoubtedly grave health risks - the tracks themselves are something straight out of the fluorescent world of Mario Kart.
Guests dart through chicanes, spiral up corkscrews and twist through turns as they speed through a course that operates on multiple different levels.
What's more, a second experience, again operated by Branson Tracks, will see a karting complex open in Niagara Falls. Named Niagara Speedway, it will be the biggest complex of its kind in the United States.
If you have always been something of a speed demon on the Mario Kart games, these dream-like go kart tracks will give you the license to prove your worth in reality, too. Frankly, if my decidedly reckless Mario Kart was translated into real life go kart driving, I'm not sure I'd last five minutes. Who said dreams don't come true?