George Clooney and Jimmy Kimmel say that Matt Damon is a terrible actor
Jimmy Kimmel Live! has apparently had a longstanding beef with Matt Damon. Damon, of course, has been mocked in good spirits before. In the film Team America by the creators of South Park, Damon was parodied as a clueless Hollywood elite trying to look smarter than he actually is. But Damon and South Park are both hallmarks of our popular culture, and co-exist today.
George Clooney came on Kimmel's program, and like in South Park, the Damon-bashing commenced. Clooney and Kimmel basically destroyed Damon in a comedic manner, falling right into the idea that Damon is a total, uh, stooge or something.
Clooney said "we got Matt because we couldn’t afford Brad Pitt" for a new thriller called Suburbicon. This painful dig was followed by Clooney saying that "Matt’s on that slide now, on the way down" so his profile is cheaper than Pitt's. The sad part is that there is some kernel of truth to this. Damon is of course immensely successful, but the Bourne films are behind him, and he's unlikely to reach another Good Will Hunting level of film achievement.
The kernel of truth makes the humor biting, and Clooney and Kimmel both play along, basically saying that "terrible actor Matt Damon" is hard to direct, and you know, may be a bit of a diva. So the two told their jokes, and had a good time...until the real Matt Damon showed up.
That's right, equipped with a baby stroller, Matt Damon himself strolled into the roast of Matt Damon with a lot on his mind. Damon explains that he is a male nanny, a "manny" to George Clooney, debasing himself further.
"You're not a man," quipped Kimmel.
"That's not what your wife said," shot Damon.
"So based on your physique, I guess you're breast-feeding the children too?" said Kimmel, coming down hard.
Damon fired back: "No, I actually just wanted to get their nap so I brought them to a place where they wouldn't get woken up by laughter."
Damn. That's quite a bit more brutal than the typical sanitized late night banter.
All that's left for Damon is to bring out the "twins" in the stroller. Which twins, you ask?
"There they are, right there," says Damon as he whips out two middle fingers. "This is screw, and this is you. Screw you."
So, what do you think of the Clooney-Kimmel-Damon feud? Personally, I think next time they could all have a stand-off like The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and just let some cannons rip. Damon, of course, has recently been accused of not doing nearly enough to stop the actions of Harvey Weinstein, admitting that he knew the executive was "an a**hole" and may have abused Gwyneth Paltrow.
Hollywood camaraderie is cute and all, but also a bit stifling. This is our 'culture'. Can't we get any more? Maybe this is all we are. Still, getting philosophy from Neil deGrasse Tyson and humor from late-night shows sort of feels like a cosmic swamp of ideology.