'Human Ken Doll' heads to India for a two week detox

'Human Ken Doll' heads to India for a two week detox

The saga of this rich, plastic surgery infatuated man continues, 34-year-old Rodrigo Alves, also known as the 'Human Ken Doll', has stayed relevant for longer than most one-hit-wonders. With his sculpted greasy glassed plastic chest and his white hair and smooth chin, the man is literally a doll pulled upward from the churned bio-vats of the Umbrella Corporation. He is 'the perfect man', if the perfect man is an androgynous sculpted blend between a Greek God and a children's doll. He is half Mattel and half boy Hermes. Why has he done this? Well, because it always felt right, I suppose.

After attending six back-to-back Halloween parties in LA, this bourgeoisie boy needed some time off. Inordinately hungover and strung out on God knows what pills and potions, he's taken to a trip to India for a two week 'detox', or an excuse to spend a ton of money and relax after spending six Halloween parties spending money and relaxing.

Life is just a big vacation in the big plastic bowl world!

He said his body nearly "gave in" after all the partying, which is probably likely. If all you do is party, spend money, get press and get plastic surgery, I guess your entire life is on the verge of a perpetual 'giving out'. And that's the funny thing - he's having ANOTHER surgery in the new year. So he's getting prepped for that. Why another surgery, you ask? Because all that cash won't spend itself.

The Ken doll said he overdid it:

"During Halloween I must have over done it. I attended 6 parties over the weekend in LA then I had to fly straight back to London. During the flight I had a fever and I felt very unwell the following day, so I had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital."

Sipping lean, popping percosets, drinking liquor? What was our plastic false idol up to? Perhaps none or all three? Alas, we won't know. But he had to go to the hospital for it, and now he's well enough to go to India. Like, how do you go to India to relax? Don't people go to India to see a new country, get exhausted walking all over? Isn't traveling pretty taxing and hard?

Well, I suspect he will waste all the beauty of India at some stupid spa or resort, never actually seeing the country. Tourism at its finest.

Moreover, apparently he's gotten the attention of some big-wigs in the Indian film industry. Rodrigo explains:

"My first stop is New Delhi, then Agra to see the Taj Mahal, and then to Jaipur, where I will be filming a part in a Bollywood movie."

Well, I suppose turning yourself into a polished shell of a man is one way to get cast in a film. But that's not the worst part. Not even close. Get ready for his next statement. I really was not ready for it, I'll admit.

He's getting six ribs removed. Yes, six ribs. He is removing them just so his blazers can "fit me properly".

"I would like to achieve a classic figure while wearing my suits, and the only way to achieve that is to remove my ribs."

Well folks, there you have it. The life of the Human Ken Doll rolls on.