It's hard to imagine anybody bullying Winona Ryder. She's been a gorgeous movie star since the 80's, starring in cult classics like Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands and (my favorite) Heathers. She's also been pretty badass, taking on witches in The Crucible, vampires in Bram Stoker's Dracula, and the Alien Queen in Alien: Resurrection. Now she's launched her big comeback in the hit Netflix show Stranger Things, playing Will's hysterical, but tough-as-nails mom, Joyce Byers. Forget the shadow monster and the demogorgon - I'm scared of Joyce Byers. That lady's crazy. Do not mess with her.
But just like they say in the tabloids: "Celebrities - they're just like us!" We remember Winona for playing social outcasts - emo teenagers, goth girls, scorned rebels. Now we know why she was so good at it: she took inspiration from real life. Before Winona was an iconic actress, she was an awkward, insecure teenager, rocking a butch haircut and boy's clothes.
In Nigel Woodall's "Winona Ryder: A Biography," Winona told a story about how she was viciously attacked by bullies when she was in junior high school. Then, years later, she spotted one of her former tormentors at a coffee shop and got the perfect revenge.
Over the weekend, a Twitter user found this story and shared it, with the adoring comment "Winona Ryder is that bitch." The Tweet quickly broke the Internet, getting over a half a million likes and 150,000 Re-Tweets. If you never got revenge on your childhood bully, read this tale, and live vicariously through Winona:
"I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy’s suit. As I went to the bathroom I heard people saying, ‘Hey, f-ggot’. They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they started to kick the shit out of me. I had to have stitches. The school kicked me out, not the bullies.
Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who’d kicked me, and she said, ‘Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?’ And I said, ‘Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?’ And she said, ‘Kind of’. And I said, ‘That was me. Go f-ck yourself."
Damn! The attack was so violent, but the revenge was so satisfying. They say that if somebody wrongs you, you should turn the other cheek. Screw that. If somebody wrongs you, you should hold on to a grudge, and make that person your bitch. Now whenever those bullies watch Stranger Things, they have to think of Joyce Bowers telling them to "go f-ck themselves."
So if you were bullied as a child and want to get revenge, you know what to do: Become a famous movie star, figure out where your bully lives, and loiter around the nearby coffee shop until they show up. And if you're a childhood bully, think twice about who you're picking on. You never know who they'll be when they grow up.