20 Things only short people will understand
In society as a whole, we have this general idea that 'bigger is better'. We all want to brag that we've 'climbed the highest mountain' or 'visited the largest Disney World' or 'been to the top of the tallest skyscraper'. Barely anyone cares about the second-biggest - and even fewer take notice of the smallest.
As a shorter-than-average person, this irks me. It's almost as if the world was build for the freakishly tall beings amongst us (i.e. anyone more than a head above me), and nobody gives a second thought to the little guys when they put up a shelf, or install those overhead handrails on the subway.
But, if nothing else, at least us little guys have each other. Nobody else understands our suffering, and any time we do try to complain, we're just branded as 'angry short people'. Since it's just us here, though, here's a list of all the things we can relate to on a fairly regular basis...
1. You're always used as an armrest
My head and shoulders are not here for you to lean on, thank you very much.
2. You can never find a pair of pants that actually fit properly
Who has legs this long?
3. Shelves are your worst enemy
Excuse me while I spend five minutes blindly patting the top of the cupboard to find the peanut butter.
4. But step-stools are your best friend
No more wobbling on chairs in order to reach that one tricky bit when dusting the corner of the room.
5. You're not above shopping in the kids' section
Then again, you're not above much - are you?
6. Your dating prospects are limited
Unless you want a lifetime of neck-strain from talking to your significant other.
7. Concerts are your worst nightmare
You always end up paying $50 for a view of somebody's sweaty back.
8. Group photos require careful planning
Unless you want to be that tiny bit of face peeking over somebody's shoulder in the background.
9. You despise being described as 'cute'
Especially by taller, younger people.
10. You're friends with the local grocery store staff
Hey, can you reach the box of cereal from the top shelf? Yeah, that one way up there. Thanks.
11. Any dog bigger than a Corgi is a threat
Great Danes are lovely and everything, but they're also 100 times stronger than anyone under five foot five.
12. Standing on a higher step than a tall person is thrilling
It's like seeing the world through brand new eyes.
13. You get sick of people bending down to talk to you
I'M SHORT, I GET IT.
14. But you also get tired of permanently looking up
Come on, guy, give me a break.
15. You've heard every short joke in the book
HAHAHA, you're soooo original.
16. You get excited when you see someone shorter than you
And you'll probably text at least one friend about it immediately.
17. Driving is a pain in the butt
So, my feet can touch the pedals... but now my nose is against the windshield.
18. Swimming pools are more of a workout for you than anyone else
Can't touch the bottom? Looks like you'll be treading water for the next hour.
19. Going in for a hug requires precise scientific calculations
Don't even attempt to hug over the shoulders - you'll end up clinging on like a monkey.
20. But being little also has its advantages
You're great at hide and seek, weirdly adept at climbing household surfaces, and you always get to be the little spoon.
And let's be real here: as much as we complain about being short, we love it really.