11 Things everyone learns from their first real relationship
Your first romantic relationship is one of the most important. While most of the time people don't end up staying with their first boyfriend or girlfriend for life, it's still one that will impact you forever. The first real relationship brings many lessons from finally experiencing what it's like to be in a relationship first hand, including all the bells and whistles like mistakes and various "first times".
The feeling of falling in love for the first time is one of the most intense emotional experiences. It's a completely new emotion, and it feels so good, incredibly exciting and like it's the best thing in the world. So when you eventually break up with your first partner, it can feel like everything is terrible and that nothing will be good again. Many people feel like they'll never find someone like that person again and that they're doomed to be alone forever.
But that's absolutely not the case. It'll be all be fine, it's not the end of the world, and you've got to try and learn from the experience rather than whining about the fact that it's over. Sharing their own pearls of wisdom on the matter is a whole community on Reddit. And we've collected 11 lessons we can all learn from.
1. You will get past it
"That an end to a once beautiful relationship is something you can recover from."
2. Be open and be honest
"You can, and will, get absolutely furious over shit that don't matter. Talk about your issues, it helps in the long run."
3. Don't forget your family, friends and hobbies
"When you first get into a relationship, do not get so consumed in this person to where your significant other is your ONLY friend. Sure the feelings will be exciting and new but that kind of relationship isn't healthy."
4. Turning a blind eye can be tempting
"Don't ignore red flags just because you're lonely."
5. Enjoy the ride
"If I could say one thing, and only one thing, it would be to cherish the time you have with them in that moment. Odds are that you're probably going to break up with them, even if you thought they would be the person you spent the rest of your life with. Just remember every good thing about it, so that you can learn to cherish the memory, and not resent it."
6. Don't let them be your only source of joy
"You have to be happy together and happy when you're apart."
7. Try not to get ahead of yourself
"Don't plan too far ahead. You never know how long you will be together."
8. It's okay to break up
"Just because you've invested so much time into a person doesn't mean you have to stick with them after you've fallen out of love with them."
9. Don't lie to yourself
"You can convince yourself anything is fine if you don't think you have any other options."
10. Just because you're flattered doesn't mean it's right
"You're far better off finding someone you're compatible with than trying to mold the first person who shows interest into someone you'd actually want to date."
11. They're not always thinking about you
"People can totally mean something when they're with you, but have different priorities when you're absent."
But ultimately, a key lesson to learn is that you shouldn't let your happiness depend on another person. People fall for you because you're an individual with your own thing going on, and that's what makes you intriguing. Work on your own things, do things that make you happy and love yourself first.