12 Disastrous things that ruined people's weddings
Who doesn't love a good wedding? There's free food, champagne, lots of terrible dancing, and, of course, a chance to catch up on all the family gossip.
However, as good as weddings are, they are also undeniably one of those places where it's easy for something to go wrong. Someone will inevitably throw a hissy fit about their dietary requirements, at least one child will start crying during the ceremony, and you can almost be certain that the best man will spill one too many home truths during his speech.
But those things seem pretty mild in comparison to these absolute disasters...
1. Why exchange vows when you can trade punches?
"The sister of the bride who wasn't invited showed up drunk and got in a fight with the bride until the father of the bride broke it up by putting the sister in a choke hold and dragging her out of the venue."
2. The best man so often turns out to be the worst
"I worked weddings for a living, and once saw the best man get loaded, give a speech, and profess his love of the bride and how they had slept together two nights before."
3. Aww, personalised vows are the cutest
"When it came time to say the vows, he pulls out a sheet of paper and reads on for like 5 minutes, getting really intimate and pouring his heart out to her. It was kind of awkward tbh. But the icing on the cake was her response. When he was done, she just giggled loudly and awkwardly and got out "ditto!" That's it. That was her wedding vow. So freaking awkward."
4. Life pro tip: don't invite children to a wedding
"There was like an 8 year old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand so I didn't think much of it, turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of, he then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. Was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life."
5. Same rule applies to dogs
"Brother and sister-in-law thought it would be fun to have their dogs walked down the aisle after their flower girl spread the flower petals. The dogs thought mid-way down the aisle was the perfect place for a sh***ing photo-op on the white runner."
6. And relatives that can't hold their drink
"At a cousin's wedding my uncle was smashed and thought he'd had a stroke in the bathroom as he couldn't straighten himself. Turned out he'd buttoned his waistcoat to his trousers and couldn't stand up."
7. The reception is the best part anyway
"Bride never showed up. My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there's no bride, so we had the party anyway."
8. The mother of all fights
"Bride's step-mother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother. Wedding went to a screeching halt."
9. It's amazing this guy made it so far in life
"After arriving 45 minutes after the ceremony was to begin, during the ring exchange, the groom gets this blank look and says he didn't know he was supposed to buy her another ring. SIL slipped off her wedding band and handed it off to the preacher."
10. If you're planning on doing this: don't
"During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom. Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing."
11. How does that saying go? The family that fights together, stays together
"I worked at a wedding venue for 4 years. Having to stop a Bride's Stepdad from hitting her over the head with a chair was a highlight. The whole room were just fighting with each other, the best man kicked the Mother in Law."
12. Sometimes, though, everything goes to plan
And it's awesome.
So, if we've learned anything here, it's that you shouldn't let the bride's family near the alcohol, avoid inviting children at all costs, and for god's sake make sure you know what the best man is planning before he gets up and blurts out your biggest secret in front of 400 people.