9 Signs that he is a serial cheater
If you're in a relationship with a dude, and he told you he's cheated in the past, you probably appreciate his honesty. And you probably wonder if that means he'll cheat again. For some people, cheating is a one time thing. Like Jay-Z. After his affair with "Becky with the good hair," he apologized to Beyoncé and went through therapy. Now their relationship is stronger than ever. Maybe your man is reformed, like Jay-Z, or maybe your man still cheats, and has just gotten better at hiding it.
Sure, you could look through his phone for suspicious text messages, or hire a private investigator to follow him around 24/7. But there might be an easier way. Here are 9 signs that he is a serial cheater.
1. He doesn't introduce you to anyone
Unless he's a total recluse who lives in a creepy shack like the Unabomber, he has important people in his life. If you haven't met any of his friends or family, that's a red flag. It's like he's hiding you. And if he's hiding you, he might be hiding something else. Or he might be pretending to be single, because doesn't take your relationship seriously. Warning bells should go off if he never posts any photos of you together on Facebook. (Or if, like Puff Daddy, he savagely crops you out).
2. He's unavailable
Everybody gets busy sometimes, but it only takes a few seconds to send a text message. it's so easy everybody does it at red it. (Seriously, next time hit a red light, look at the other drivers: everybody's texting!) If it takes him an extra-long time to get back you, and his excuses are vague, he might be up to some shenanigans with Sharon, his "friend" from college.
3. He guards his phone
It's an invasion of privacy to look at someone's phone. Your text messages are personal business; they should only be read by you, and the NSA. But if his phone buzzes, and you casually pick it up to tell him who texted, and he freaks out? That's pretty shady. And be warned - if he's having an affair with another lady, he'll probably disguise the name by calling her "Adam" or "Eric" or "Grandma." Unless he's really dumb, saved her as "Sidechick."
4. He's hot and cold
So, all of a sudden, he's acting like the greatest boyfriend in the world, showering you with presents. Maybe he loves you. Or maybe he's cheating on you with someone and this is the manifestation of his guilt. (Either way, keep the presents.) And if he's acting like a jerk, maybe he's doing it on purpose, to make you dump him.
5. Mo' money, mo' problems
According to a study from the American Psychological Review, men are more likely to cheat if they make a lot more money than their partner, or a lot less. It's like the Wu-Tang Clan said: cash rules everything around me. When there's a disparity in income, it can create insecurity. Cheating is a way of lashing out.
6. His friends are cheaters
If his friends treat women like objects and think cheating is like, totally cool, bro, he probably has the same mentality.
7. You were "the other woman" for a while
You know he's capable of cheating if you were "the other woman." And if he took a long time to dump his girlfriend after seeing you, that's pretty sketchy behavior. "The cheating might be a manifestation," says Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at UMass Amherst. "it’s not so much having low impulse control but more him just not wanting or being ready to commit. I would not call it a very solid basis for a relationship."
8. He won't admit he cheated in the past
If he admits that he cheated in the past, that means he acknowledges what he did is wrong. Much like Jay-Z, he's ready for personal growth. Guys who make no effort at all change are probably serial cheaters. As they say, 'those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.'
9. He won't get therapy
Yes, therapy is expensive, but talking to a professional can be extremely helpful. And some things are worth the money. According to a study in Archives Of Sexual Behavior, people who had an affair in the past are three times as likely to cheat again. A therapist can help get to the root of the problem, so that behavior doesn't continue.
Well, there you have it. These signs should give you a pretty good idea if your boyfriend is a serial cheater. Oh, almost forgot one: If you frequently come home, and catch him hooking up with other women, that's also a sign your boyfriend might be unfaithful.
In related news, here are 17 pictures you should see if you're thinking about cheating...