Student advertises a skydiving spot on Tinder after her boyfriend breaks up with her
Would you go on a laconic skydiving date with a woman you've never met before? Well, depends on how badly you want to skydive. Would you write an entire cover letter and resume for it? Uh...no.
Well, Emma Vowell got dumped just days before her boyfriend's birthday. He had purchased two tickets for the two of them to go skydiving together, and Emma was left with both of them after he left her. I suppose that was nice for him, to not take the tickets like a total dick. Though I guess he bought them. So he wouldn't be a dick at all. Nice of him to leave her with the tickets. (Also, it's his birthday. Why exactly didn't he keep the tickets?)
Emma changed her Tinder profile to reflect this situation.
"Zero percent of me wants to hook up with you". Okay, so why does the guy need to be hot? And again, it baffles me that this dude didn't keep his tickets and just invite a buddy to go skydiving with him on his birthday. Like, what the hell.
So anyway, Emma sends this out on Tinder, advertising what pretty much amounts to free skydiving with a random stranger who wants you to be hot even though she doesn't want it to be romantic. Okay.
So this dude literally sends a goddamn resume and cover letter to you, applying for the position. Wow. I'd like to applaud him, but...uh...what's there to applaud? Unless he's been wanting to go skydiving for years and wants it so so badly, why write up hundreds of words pitching yourself to this woman as a platonic side piece?
Wow, so this dude not only writes all this, but he's willing to drive her around and do physical training sessions for free afterward and basically just be at her beck and call? What are you doing? These are free tickets, dude, and she doesn't want to sleep with you. There is literally no reason to offer to be her servant. This guy is really, really bad at making sensible exchanges. He's a born simp, sad to say.
But, it worked, and they're skydiving together in the near future. Cool...
“He’s great,” said Emma. "I half expected him to be a little strange considering he took the time to make me a resume, but he’s not any weirder than I am.”
Here they are:
Well, and here's Tinder, now offering her a job because of this:
“Tinder did offer me a job to be one of their campus reps, which is crazy to me. I’m waiting to hear more about it before I officially accept...It’s crazy, I just thought this would be a funny tweet for my friends to see on my profile, but now people from across the world are contacting me about it, and I’m getting job offers. The internet is wild.”
What a bizarre world, where a university student can get a job for advertising free skydiving tickets on Tinder. Anybody can make it, it seems, you just need a gimmick. "Gimme a gimmick", the cry of the hallowed poor, seeking viral fame.
In other news, check out this woman who found her husband's messages to his mistress calling her fat behind her back. Red meat for the Lifetime viewer.