This woman created a brilliant exit interview for the men she dates, and the internet loves it
Dating is fun, but it can be frustrating. I mean, who can keep up with all these new trends? There's 'freckling' - dating someone in the summer, then dumping them in the fall. There's 'Gatsbying' - trying to make someone jealous of your lifestyle on social media, like Gatsby threw parties to impress Daisy in the classic novel. Then there's 'giraffing,' where, you rub our head against your partner's backside until they pee, then drink the urine to see if they're a good mate. Okay, that last term isn't real. But that's what giraffes really do while mating. What a bunch of freaks!
Anyway, maybe dating would be less of a soul-crushing nightmare if you gave their ex an exit interview. It's a chance for them to provide honest feedback; hard to hear, but valuable. Then, after compiling the data from all of your failed relationships, you might notice destructive patterns in your behavior. After all, nobody's perfect. It's fun to get wasted and trash-talk your ex, it might be better, in the long run, to get constructive criticism.
Twitter user @abbygov shared a brilliant exit interview for dating, created by a friend named Katie. Abby claims that Katie sends this survey to "every guy she casually AND seriously dates." The questions include: "What is wrong with Katie?" "What is wrong with you?" "At what point did you know this wouldn't work out?" "What could Katie have done to enhance this experience with you?" "Would you refer Katie to a friend?" And so on. It's funny to see formal language applied to dating, but at the same time, don't you kind of wish you had your ex fill one out?
The internet loved Katie's exit survey. On Twitter user declared, "This is a work of genius. Finally dating has the structure and administrative bureaucracy it has always needed." Another added, "Data driven decisions are [very] important," while a third observed, "this the type of person to bring in her signed syllabus the second day of school." One person accurately compared Katie to Amy Santiago, the super-eager, organized, nerdy detective from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Yes! Amy totally did this to all of her exes.
In a subsequent tweet, Abby linked to Katie's Twitter handle. Unfortunately, she has not confirmed whether or not her exes actually filled out the survey. However, a lot of people thought it was a great idea. Maybe exit interviewing can become a trend, like breadcrumbing, freckling and Gatsbying. (It sounds like a lot more fun than giraffing.) Some people even Katie out on a date - or at least, where asked where they can submit an application for consideration.
The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of dating becoming like work. If someone dumps you, you could get severance pay.