Wife leaves husband hilariously adorable bathroom mirror notes that are also pretty mean
When you first start dating somebody, you're walking on eggshells. You don't want to scare them away. If you're obsessed with My Little Pony, or have a belly button lint collection, or believe in aliens and duct tape your butt every night so you don't get probed, you don't mention this at the beginning. You're presenting the best version of yourself. It's not totally honest, but it's the only way to turn a first date into a second date.
You hold back your opinions as well. If your date looks like a hot mess, you might say "you've never looked more beautiful." If your date's apartment looks like New Orleans post-Katrina, you might say "you have a lovely place." If your date loves Donald Trump, and you're a lifelong Democrat, you might say, "Oh, that's cool. Build the wall! Build the wall! Build the wall!" Every thought is analyzed to guarantee it makes a positive impression.
When you start being honest with each other, you know you have a good relationship. No more hiding. No more biting your tongue. You can be totally blunt. It's refreshing, and no couple showcases this more than St. Louis-based photographer Michael B. Thomas and his wife. She leaves notes for him taped to their bathroom mirror that are mean, adorable and hilarious all at the same time.
Who needs gooey love letters, where the i's are dotted with hearts and the j's are dotted with naked baby Cupids? In a famous sonnet, Shakespeare rambled on and on, comparing some lady to a "warm summer's day." Barf. Michael's wife's notes are far more romantic. "You look dusty." "Your hairline is uneven." "You ain't even that cute!" Isn't that the truest expression of love, when you can say things like this to your partner? Also, wouldn't each of these notes be a great title for a love song? Get on it, Justin Bieber.
If others wives left these notes for their husbands, there might be some hurt feelings or nasty fights. But Michael just thinks it's hilarious! And he's not alone. When he posted the picture online, it went viral, and was retweeted more than 17,000 times. Obviously, his ball-busting wife was thrilled.
For the next Comedy Central Roast, they should skip the celebrities, and just show this sassy lady roasting Michael. We don't know what she looks like, but we do know she's really funny. What notes will she tape up next? "Nice beer belly." "Your teeth are yellow." "You're no Idris Elba." The possibilities are endless. Also, I wonder what their wedding vows were like. "I do, take this dusty man, who ain't even that cute, to lawfully be wed, in hairlines even and uneven..."
All you couples out there officially have new relationship goals. While you keep walking on eggshells, these two stomp on eggshells, and have never been happier.