Here are 9 Americans who became princesses

Here are 9 Americans who became princesses

A lot of little girls dream about becoming princesses. It's easy to see why - wearing beautiful gowns, inheriting a fortune, making sassy animal friends, living happily ever after in a huge castle with no responsibilities. Actually, being a princess sounds like a sweet gig. I want to be a princess. What am I doing. writing articles for this website? I've wasted my life.

Growing up in America, you can't escape Disney princesses: Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, Mulan, Elsa, Leia. You can dress up as your favorite princess for Halloween, but becoming a real princess seems impossible. America doesn't have a royal family. What's our closest thing - the The Bushes? The Clintons? The Kardashians? Yeesh. Just not the same.

However, some American women really have become princesses. This morning we witnessed the latest example, as Prince Harry announced his engagement to Meghan Markle. But she's not the first! Here are 11 Americans who became princesses:

1. Lisa Halaby

Lisa hails from the classiest places in the world: New Jersey. But she wanted to get away from the "bennys," so she moved "down the shore," to Sydney, Australia. While working for Royal Jordanian Airlines, she met King Hussein of Jordan. A couple years later, she became his fourth wife, Queen Noor. She stayed with King Hussein for over twenty years, until his death in 1999. And it's safe to say she joined "the mile high club."

2. Grace Kelly

Grace Kelly was an Academy Award-winning actress and famous movie star - basically, your grandma's Jennifer Lawrence. While she was in France for the Cannes Film Festival, her team set up a photoshoot at a palace belonging to His Serene Highness Rainier III, Prince of Monaco. The two quickly fell in love. By Christmas, they were engaged. By April, they were married. Grace even moved to Monaco, and quit acting forever. But sadly, there was no happy ending. She died in a car accident, at age 52.

3. Rita Hayworth

Rita Hayworth was another big Hollywood movie star - let's say, your grandmother's Amy Adams? She dated the actor and director Orson Welles, but they had an acrimonious relationship, possibly because she had a premonition that one day he'd gain 250 pounds and eat her. They split up, and she met Prince Aly Khan, son of Aga Khan the Imam of Ismaili Muslims and a direct descendant of the Prophet Muhammad. Then she was like "Citizen Kane, you've been deported. K thx byeeeee."

4. Marie-Chantal Miller

Again, no rags to riches story.  Her dad was the duty-free magnate Robert Miller, and her family had houses all over the world: Hong Kong, Paris, London, New York, Gstaad Yorkshire, Detroit (Okay, not Detroit). She married Pavlos, Crown Prince of Greece, in 1995, and today she's the founder of a "luxury children's clothing brand." So, what does that mean? Verscace onesies? Gucci diapers? Louis Vuitton pacifiers? Sounds posh.

5. Kelly Rondestvedt

Kelly is an investment banker who went to UCLA and got an MBA. And MBA stands for "Making Boys Amorous." She married Hereditary Prince Hubertus of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, officially becoming Her Highness Hereditary Princess Kelly of Saxe-Coburg und Gotha. You gotta love these long princess titles. I hope one day she adds "Mother Of Dragons."

6. Sarah Butler

It's pretty cool to become a princess when your last name is "butler." That's like becoming a cop when your last name is "crackhead." Anyway, Sarah hails from Texas, but she's not a redneck. She's a nerd. She received a degree in International Relations, an MSC in Development Studies and worked at the United Nations. She proved her dedication to uniting the nations by marrying Prince Zeid bin Ra'ad Zeid al-Hussein, a member of the Jordanian House of Hashemite and Crown Prince of Iraq. Congratulations, Queen Butler, you crazy oxymoron, you!

7. Kendra Spears

Kendra Spears is the daughter of Britney Spears - just kidding. I just wanted to make you feel old for a second. Kendra is a Seattle-born model who posed for many fancy clothing designers - Prada, Calvin Klein, Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, Givenchy and definitely not Walmart. In 2013, she married Prince Rahim Aga Khan, making her new name Princess Salwa Aga Khan. If you see her, scream "KHAAAN!" Like in the 1982 film Star Wars II: The Wrath of Khan. She'll get the reference.

8. Hope Cooke

Hope Cooke is named after the thoughts of every sexist man: "I hope you can cook!" No, she was just a regular American, going to college and taking a trip abroad. Her travels included India, and in 1959, when she was only 20, she met Palden Thondup Namgyal, the Crown Prince of Sikkim, at a the bar of a hotel. Two years later, they married, and she renounced her American citizenship. Two years after that, she became Queen, aka "Her Highness Hope La, the Gyalmo of Sikkim." Cool title, but still, no "Mother of Dragons." They didn't get along, and divorced in 1980. (Maybe she didn't cook as well he hoped?)

9. Wallis Simpson

Okay, I know you've never heard of her, but Wallis is #princessgoals. She almost became Queen of England! Because after getting divorced twice, Wallis captured the heart of King Edward VIII. How much did he love her? Enough to abdicate the throne. Seriously. See, Jolly Old England would never accept Wallis as "Your Royal Majesty" because of her divorces. They objected to it on idiotic reasons. Whoops, sorry. They objected to it on religious, moral and legal reasons. But you know what? They had happy lives. She became the Duchess of Windsor. They lived in the Bahamas, Florida, New York, Paris and Detroit. (Okay, not Detroit.). And when she died, they "put respek on her name." Her funeral was attended by Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles, plus the final blessing was performed by the archbishop of Canterbury, which is one of the highest signs of royal respect.

So, there you have it, little girls. If you want to be a princess, be a Hollywood movie star. Or just be rich. Or be like me, and dress up like as Cinderella every day, and stand outside in an alley with a sign that says "Will Princess For Food." It'll happen one day. I just know it.