Conspiracy theorists have some horrendous ideas about Donald Trump

Conspiracy theorists have some horrendous ideas about Donald Trump

If there's one thing we know about Donald Trump, it's that he loves a good conspiracy theory. And who can blame him? Any sign that we have uncovered a surreptitious or covert scheme not intended for our ears is always thrilling, and we as a society adore speculating over them. However, when conspiracy theorists target you personally, there's a strong chance you won't be too happy about it. So we're guessing the billionaire business won't enjoy the many, many elaborate rumours there are in the public eye about him.

The truth is, there are hundreds of unorthodox hypotheses floating around about the 45th President of the United States, with professional conspiracy theorists, Twitter and Reddit all working overtime to think them up. According to the internet, the former Apprentice star is a former Pakistani orphan who is consistently drugged, but really died years ago and was later replaced by a clone. Conspiracy-Theorist-in-Chief Trump better hold onto his hat, because he's about to get a taste of his own medicine...

He was an orphan born in Pakistan

To put it politely, Trump has never exactly seemed like the biggest supporter of the Muslim faith. So we're sure he was thrilled when a conspiracy theory came about that he was secretly a Pakistan orphan who was born to a Muslim family. Just after the president celebrated his win back in January 2017, Neo News reported that property tycoon was born in Waziristan under the name Dawood Ibrahim Khan in 1946, bizarrely even sharing a childhood snap of a blonde-haired toddler they claimed was Trump in his secret life in Pakistan. According to the report, Trump was adopted by an American couple in 1955 after his Pakistani parents died and eventually became the man we all know and (some of us) love today.

He's actually dead and has been replaced with a clone

In the months before he won the presidency, a YouTube video claimed to have "proof that Trump was killed by the Illuminati and replaced with a clone".  "The Donald Trump you see now campaigning on stage for the election is a clone," said the video creator. "He's dead, his family and daughter and wife are fake mannequins - kids fake, dead. See the skin? It's a mannequin." This one actually makes a lot of sense, given the fact that there was a rumour that Trump was using a body double for Melania back in October. Did the clones get an update or something?

He's terrified of stairs

"Bathmophobia", the fear of stairs, is a very real phobia and many people believe that Donald Trump is a victim of it. This particular conspiracy theory began at the beginning of 2017 when pictures of Donald Trump holding hands with Theresa May made the headlines. While many took it as an act of chivalry on Trump's part, others jumped on the idea that the Leader of the Free World was terrified of stairs, so needed the British Prime Minister's assistance to steady himself while climbing down. Ever since then, the theory has taken off, with all eyes on Trump whenever he heads of the stairs and a CNN reporter even reaching out to a White House spokesperson about his potential bathmophobia. She was shot down and told that it was "an absurd question", but what if...

His diet cokes are being drugged by the ‘deep state’

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones set social media on fire when he alleged that Trump's Diet Coke was being covertly drugged by the government in an effort to control him. Jones, a right-winger known for endorsing odd theories, claimed that the president was being tranquillised and by the end of the day he was slurring his words. He said: "So notice, 'Oh, he’s mentally ill. Oh, he’s got Alzheimer’s.' They isolate him then you start slowly building up the dose, but instead of titrating it like poison, like venom of a cobra, or a rattlesnake, or a water moccasin where you build it up slowly so that you get an immunity to it, you’re building it slowly so the person doesn’t notice it. First, it’s almost zero, just a tiny bit and then a little more and then your brain subconsciously becomes addicted to it and wants it and so as the dose gets bigger and bigger you get more comfortable in it."

He's Satan in a man's body

There's no doubt that many will have referred to Trump as Satan over the course of his presidency, but did you know there's a full-blown theory that explains why the president is actually the antichrist? People have pointed out that the red ties Trump often wears are the mark of Satan, and the president frequently makes Masonic gestures, meaning that he is a demon. According to the author of The Hyper Texts, Trump is the long prophesied beast of revelation whose number is 666. Explaining themselves, they wrote: "According to the Bible, the Antichrist will be a charismatic celebrity, a 'big talker' and a 'smooth talker'. He will convince people that he alone has the solution to every problem. He will claim to be a dealmaker and a master negotiator... He will deceive the masses, and even the very elect. Sound like anyone you know?"

To add more weight to their theory, they listed all of the connections Trump has to the number 666, the sign of the Devil. The list included that one of his buildings is located at 666 Fifth Avenue and this building cost him $1.8 billion (18 = 3 x 6 = 666), as well as the claim that the Trump family were also in the process of building a $666million tower at One Journal Square and the height will be 666ft."


He uses hand symbols to connect with the Illuminati and practises mind control

It's no secret that some people believe Trump is a member of the Illuminati elite, a secret society that runs all global governments from behind the scenes and is slowly implementing a so-called New World order (NWO), that will culminate in a global leadership. But theorists have taken the idea a step further and have pointed to hand symbols made by the president, claiming that they are clear indicators of his Illuminati affiliation, including when he puts three fingers in the air, which is allegedly a reference to 666, and when he makes a downward triangle with his hands, which is the symbol for the Triangle of Satan. In addition, they claim these hand gestures are evidence that he is a skilled "mind controller". So does this mean he used mind control to convince America to vote for him?

He's secretly illiterate

Being the President of the United States, you'd assume you would be able to read, but conspiracy theorists have "shed light" on the fact that we may have elected an illiterate president. YouTube channel The David Pakman Show has a theory that Trump can barely read and used a Canadian document that outlines how to identify people with low literacy, along with clips of Trump reading as source material to prove his point. One video he uses shows Trump appearing to struggle to read a hymn sheet, before putting it down and seemingly telling Melania to do the same after. In addition, he looks at some of the spelling mistakes in Trump’s tweets – for instance, writing “unpresedented” instead of “unprecedented”, and “loose” instead of “lose”.

He sends secret coded messages to Muslims

Was Trump's "covfefe" Twitter typo actually a secret coded message to the Muslim society? A lot of people seemed to think so at the time, insisting that "covfefe" translated to "I will stand up" in Arabic. People around the world claimed that this was the president's way of giving a nod to the Muslim community, expressing secret solidarity - which seemed unlikely. But despite their best efforts, further professional translation (professional meaning that it wasn't from the ever trustworthy Google Translate), combined with Trump hastily deleting his Tweet meant that this theory fell flat on its face.

He has arrested 3,000 ‘elite paedophiles and Satanists’

Has Trump launched a top-secret crackdown on "elite paedophiles and Santanists"? Firefighter prophet Mark Taylor certainly seemed to think so when he asserted on a YouTube program called "The Sharpening Report" that "divine justice" was being "poured out" on "satanic pedophile and child sacrifice cults" by the billionaire businessman. So how did we not know? According to Taylor, there had been a 100 per cent media blackout on the situation. Fake news, or...?

He's a time traveller

In 2000, several posts from a user named TimeTravel_0 were submitted to the Time Travel Institute Forums; the person behind the posts stated that they were a man called John Titor who had time travelled from the year 2036 to 2000 to warn the world of an impending nuclear war at the hands of ISIS. While at the moment it seems as though Trump is encouraging nuclear war, many claim that Donald Trump was actually the time traveller named John Titor and had used a time machine based on blueprints collected from the deceased scientist Nikola Tesla to travel forward and warn us. Is anyone buying this one?

His whole presidency is nothing but a social commentary

Did Trump fight for the presidency just to start a conversation about how messed up America has become? It seems unlikely, but people on Reddit are holding out for the moment when the billionaire reveals his master plan. An account named "sweene17" even wrote the speech he expected Trump to give on the website posting: "You have elected me as your President of these United States. What is wrong with you people. I am not qualified, and I represent everything that is wrong with politics. That I can be elected on personality as a bigoted, hypocritical shark to likely damage all modern relationships. I have offended every minority, threatened countless countries, and have made it clear I will act in my own self interest. This persona has just been a caricature, and I am deeply troubled that this country could elect "The Trump" as president. You all should be ashamed for voting for me in office and think what this means if someone like me can take the role of Presidents, in the party of Abraham Lincoln." As great as this theory would be for all of the Trump-haters out there, we somehow don't think this is the case...

So, Trump conspiracy theorists: are you believing any of these? Could the man we all call president actually be a drugged time travelling clone who sends coded messages to Muslims? It's definitely either that, or he's just a 71-year-old billionaire whose hobbies include tweeting and fake-tanning...


Featured illustration by Egarcigu