‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ director James Gunn offers Trump $100K to step on the scale
It doesn't seem like Donald Trump is in good physical health. Sure, he doesn't drink alcohol or doesn't smoke cigarettes. But he's 71 years old, his favorite exercise is golf, and he loves fast food. According to his former campaign manager, his regular order at McDonald's is two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish and a chocolate milkshake. For one meal. That's a yuge amount of calories.
Some people are even speculating about Trump's mental health. I mean, we've all seen him make delusional comments, claiming to be a "very stable genius" and "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." Now this talk is getting more serious. In Michael Wolff's new book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, some staffers claim Trump shows signs of dementia, telling the same stories over and over again, within the span of ten minutes. (And, come on, what kind of "stable genius" calls other nations "shithole countries?")
With the president's health under heavy skepticism, the White House physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson, held a press conference. He said he performed an exam, and found Trump to be "very sharp," "in excellent health" and has "absolutely no cognitive or mental issues whatsoever."
Reporters asked how Trump could possibly have a clean bill of health, considering his calorie bomb diet. Dr. Jackson responded, "It’s called genetics. Some people have just great genes. I told the president that if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years he might live to be 200 years old.” Some Twitter users mocked the doctor's positive review, which was so effusive it resembled those outrageous Chuck Norris facts, or those The Most Interesting Man In The World commercials.
However, some of the results were suspicious: According to the exam, President Trump weighs 239 pounds and is 75 inches tall (6'3"). Considering his age (71), that means his BMI is 30.3, making him just one pound away from being classified as clinically obese. Is that just a coincidence, or did they fudge the numbers to avoid a humiliating result?
And just like that, the Girther Movement was born! It's a hilarious spin on Trump's Birther Movement. In case you don't remember, for years, Trump refused to believe that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. Instead, he claimed Obama was born in Kenya, and was a secret Muslim foreign agent. He demanded that Obama show birth certificate, and when Obama did, he called it a forgery, and refused to accept it as real. He publicly offered a five million dollar reward for "proof" Obama was born in the United States. Then he raised the reward to fifty million. It was pretty insane, and incredibly disrespectful, so I'd say this Girther Movement is fair play.
Actually, the Girther Movement seems far more plausible than the Birther Movement. Many Twitter users showed side-by-side comparisons of Donald Trump standing next to athletes with the same height and the same weight that he purports to be. Needless to say, their physiques don't quite match.
And it's not just his weight that's under dispute. Some people think Trump's height may have been fudged as well. On his 2012 driver's license, Trump listed his height as 74 inches. Now, according to Dr. Jackson, his height 75 inches. "I'm a girther because old men don't GROW an inch!" wrote one Twitter user. (Yeah, I know, we all fudge our height and weight on our driver's licenses, but the photos are funny, so let's just go with it.)
Surprisingly, a famous Hollywood filmmaker joined in on the fun: James Gunn, who wrote and directed both of the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies. He's an expert at telling stories about aliens of all shapes and sizes, whose bodies are strange, unnatural colors. Who better to analyze Trump?
James tweeted a photo of Trump standing next to baseball player Alex Rodriguez, who is obviously a couple inches taller, with the comment, "Two 6'3" men standing next to each other." Then, he made an offer in the style of Trump's famous 'five million dollar reward,' writing, "I will give 100 thousand dollars to Trump's favorite charity if he will step on an accurate scale with an impartial medical professional, okayed by both of us. For real."
Some people found a loophole in James' offer: "Favorite charity" could refer to anything. As one Twitter user replied, "He could then have the Foundation commission a $100 portrait of himself to hang in the lobby of his country club." James responded, joking, "I would be afraid that it's the Ku Klux Klan but there's no way in hell he's 239 pounds, so I don't have to worry about it."
Die-hard Trump supporters, including famous pundits like Piers Morgan, were quick to accuse the Girther Movement of fat-shaming and body-shaming. (Which is pretty rich, considering these same people attacked Hillary Clinton for not being physically fit or mentally fit during her presidential campaign.) However, James was quick to respond his critics, explaining, "This has nothing to do with fat shaming. It has to do with a continuous pattern of fabricating facts by both Trump and his administration."
Hopefully President Trump will accept James' offer. $100,000 could buy a lot of Big Mac's.