Child labelled a future killer after making this hilarious 'decision tree' about his sister
Do you make decision trees? Well, according to a viral post on Imgur, this three year old kid used one to chart his revenge against his little sister for punching him. It has commenters a bit frightened, as the tree indicates some, well, less than reputable tendencies in the child's mind.
The decision chart reads simply, detailing this kid's thought process as he contains his rage at his little sister for punching him. It definitely looks like he wrote this very soon after the punching, while emotions were still running very high. Oh, sorry, not 'punching'. It was 'socking'. She socked him. That's right.
"What's the problem? "My sister socked me in the nose."
Information Needed: "My sister is littler, it hurt."
Option A: "Punch her lights out." -> Positive Consequences: "I will be happy." -> Negative Consequences: "I will get in trouble."
Option B: "Tell on her." -> Positive Consequences: "She will get in trouble." -> Negative Consequences: "I will be a tattletail."
Option C: "Lock her in the closet." -> Positive Consequences: "I will never see her again." -> Negative Consequences: "I don't see any."
My choice: C."
Well, there you have it: C, the red pill, or whatever Morpheus fed Neo. He wants to lock her in the closet so that he will never see her again, and there's nothing at all wrong about that, no way. However, it's worth taking this with a grain of salt.
How many times do kids say "I hate you" or "I never want to see you again" only to be smiling and rolling around in a few hours? Probably pretty often. In a moment of heated outrage, the kid wrote that, but I doubt he's a future psycho because of it. As if that needs to be said...
A commenter on Imgur asked if they were the only person who misread 'littler' as 'Hitler', and totally, I did too. I thought the kid was calling his little sister Hitler, which would be...remarkable for a 3 year old, but a bit over the top. Well, and that's the other thing.
Is this kid really three years old? Who is writing and filling out charts like this at three years old? No way. I bet this kid is more like six or seven, which I suppose makes his actions more calculated. Maybe he is a born smooth criminal?
There are two funny aspects of his chart: one, that the negative consequence of punching her back is only that he will get caught. That's pretty standard criminal thinking - the only crime is getting caught. And second, that he's afraid of being a tattletale. Sure, nobody wants to be a tattletale. But how soon until that makes a mafia vow of silence in a court of the law?
Or, it's all a big stretch, and this chart is just a bit of fun. We'll go with that one for now.