The 'Mad Pooper' terrorizing Colorado may have a brain injury which means it's not her fault
So a little while ago, the media jumped on a story regarding a woman called the "Mad Pooper" who was running all over Colorado and defecating on people's lawns. Unsurprisingly, given the disgusting nature of the events, one family in the area decided enough was enough, and went to speak to a local news channel about the woman, saying that she left them an unpleasant gift "about once a week" when she was on her regular jogging route.
This caused police to ask local residents to take a snap of the woman if they ever saw her dropping her pants. However, they have still failed to identify the assailant.
But new information about the mystery pooper has emerged. According to a man claiming to be "family representative", it is not the woman's fault that she is crapping in people's yards; it is because she has suffered a traumatic brain injury and she now can't control where she does her business.
The man goes on to say that the Mad Pooper would like to apologize for her actions and feels ashamed by how much coverage they are getting, he said in a since-removed YouTube video.
The unidentified man then goes on to make the outlandish claim that taking a dump in someone's garden is the same as breastfeeding in public and he says that the woman's actions are protected under the First Amendment - something which is being described as a load of crap by a defense attorney Jeremy Loew.
"Defecating in someone’s yard is definitely not protected under the First Amendment and it is actually a crime"
Loew added that the woman in question could actually be charged with indecent exposure, which could land her on the sex offender registry.
The supposed spokesperson for the family also claimed that the woman underwent gender reassignment surgery, although what that has to do with any of this, I'm not too sure. He also failed to provide any verification that he is representing the family, with Loew saying that his videotaped statement was "the worst thing the family could do".
"This is actually the worst thing the family could do," he said. "People all over the world are talking about this, and police will catch her. The man in the video will also have to be called into court to testify."
Local people within the neighborhood that has been terrorized by the daring defecator, have also reacted to the video statement with scorn. One woman, Shirley Thevenot, said: "I breastfed all of my four children and that’s just ridiculous. As far as I’m concerned, there is no comparison between those."
Another local resident, Julie Teffeteller agreed. "Breastfeeding is nourishing your child — you’re doing something to take care of someone — but pooping in someone’s lawn is only damaging," she told KRDO.
It remains to be seen what will happen in the mystery of the Mad Pooper. but I reckon we can assume she won't be running around the same neighborhood anymore. Don't be surprised if she pops up near you, no lawn is safe.