Meet the woman who says she has had sex with 20 ghosts and prefers them to men

Meet the woman who says she has had sex with 20 ghosts and prefers them to men

Are you frustrated with the dating scene? Men and women are so annoying. They're the worst, right? Well, we figured out the problem. You're dating the living. You should try dating the dead. Specifically, ghosts. That's what a 27-year-old British woman did, and she says she prefers them to men. Her boo is literally her boo.

Her name is Amethyst Realm - because of course it is - and she recently appeared on the talk show "ITV In The Morning" to discuss her spirited lovemaking. It seems like a premise for a hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch - but apparently (get it?!) this is for real.

Amethyst says it all started twelve years ago, when she and her fiancé moved into a new house. Once inside their new home, she felt the presence of something, a strange entity, an apparition like Casper The Friendly Ghost, except this ghost didn't just want to be friends. It wanted to be friends...with benefits.

“It started as an energy, then became physical," explained Amethyst, while somehow keeping a straight face. "There was pressure on my thighs and breath on my neck. I just always felt safe. I had sex with the ghost. You can feel it. It’s difficult to explain. There was a weight and a weightlessness, a physical breath and stroking, and the energy as well.”

You could say it brings a whole new meaning to "getting ghosted."

The hosts ask Amethyst if the ghost brought her to orgasm, and she says yes. As the interview goes on, Amethyst reveals she's had spooky sexy times with over 20 ghosts, and that it is not the same ghost every time. Way to play the paranormal field, girl! She says she prefers ghosts to men, and the host remarks, "Once you go ghost, you never go back." Amethyst agrees, and what's more, she wants a ghost to get her pregnant.

"I’ve done a bit of research into phantom pregnancies," says Amethyst, a grown woman who will definitely never regret saying these things in public. "There’s a possibility that it is a ghost in you, but people don’t know how to carry it to full term." Well, either that or the Ghostbusters carried out a stealth operation. Those guys are good.

But what do the experts have to say about this? Nothing. No actual experts want to comment on this story. Are you kidding? They're busy with important stuff. But what do other people who seem like experts have to say about this?

"The people who report having sex with a ghost report feeling pressure on them and even penetration, but ghosts don’t have warmth," says ghost hunter Alexandra Holzer, who must, like, have a day job or something, right? "When they’re in the room, it’s a very cold environment.” So, basically, hooking up a ghost is not "hot and heavy." It's "cold and crazy."

"Such hallucinations can be extremely vivid and bizarre, and can include tactile, visual and auditory," says psychotherapist Tina Radziszewicz, who, wow, sounds like an actual expert. "Stress, anxiety, depression and trauma can make people more prone to this form of hallucination."

Anyway, now you know what to do if you're lonely and single. Get out of the big city, and go to a ghost town.