Mom buys pillows with accidentally rude pattern

Mom buys pillows with accidentally rude pattern

In this weird, sex-obsessed society we live in, it's sometimes easy to see R-rated images where no naughtiness was intended.

Take this pooch, for example. She's just chilling on the floor, having the time of her little doggy life, completely oblivious to the thousands of people on the internet who think she looks a bit like a wang (with a tail).

And then there's this monstrosity. To the non-dirty-minded, this is just a skinny frappe caramel latte with extra whipped cream and a bit of an over-spill; but, to you or I, this is a mighty dong.

But neither of those can be topped by these amazingly-phallic feat of nature. I don't know about you, but I'd have a hard time making it through my Sunday roast with a straight face if this stubby little member ended up on my plate.

In all these instances, the resemblance to penises was completely accidental. However, on other occasions, the rudeness is 100 per cent intentional - and it's so subtle that you might actually miss it.

That's exactly the case with this pair of scatter cushions, which were bought by one unwitting mother who had no idea what she was getting herself into.

At first glance, these pillows seem innocent enough. In fact, they look like pretty much any other throw cushion you'd find strewn about in your nana's house: simplistic, floral, and just about gaudy enough to fit in alongside the 70s rug and collection of antique spoons.

However, upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that the intricately-detailed pattern is not comprised of flowers at all - but something decidedly more phallic.

Yes, dear readers, there's an old lady out there who has penises all over her pillows. And it's glorious.

And the more you look, the worse it gets. If you start from the outside and work your way around, some of the flowery peens could be brushed off as unfortunate-looking roses. Not the kind of thing you'd pick out from the garden centre, but also not something you'd be complaining to the manager about.

The closer you get to the middle, however, the clearer it becomes that what you're looking at is not, in actuality, an exotic-looking plant, but rather some offensively-large genitalia.

You'd think that most people would recoil in horror upon seeing the explicit design - but on Reddit, where this image was first shared, people seemed to take a shining to it.

"Where does one procur [sic] such things? I have a retirement facility that needs decorating," wrote one commentor.

"I really appreciate the ratio of uncircumcised to circumcised. Representation matters folks," said another.

But some found themselves completely stumped by the pattern.

"I couldn't figure it out for the longest time," admitted one user. "Then, I realized I'd been staring at a bunch of dicks for the past 5 minutes."

Perhaps you, too, have found some strange sense of appeal in these cock-adorned cushions. If that's the case, you're in luck, for they can be purchased right here. Why not grab a few and gift them to unwitting relatives? I'm sure they'll love them.