Dogs are great. Dogs are awesome. Of all the animals we have on God's green earth, dogs are the one we decided to buddy up with, domesticate, and welcome into our happy families. They truly are man's best friend, but if you're anything like me, there's a good chance your best friend is kind of a jerk.
We like to think of dogs as pure bastions of affection, empathy and belly rubs, but the truth is much harder to swallow. You know what's not hard to swallow? Free food from McDonald's, especially if you're a dog and you've managed to convince some poor human sap that you're a hungry stray in need of a home.
This conniving canine out in Oklahoma is definitive proof that as dogs were domesticated by humans, they not only picked up our capacity to love and care for one another, but absorbed our most dark, dastardly and manipulative tendencies as well. It's kind of adorable.
Princess, dog companion to Betsy Reyes, is one such master of the dark arts, as Betsy found out in hilarious fashion. She'd begun to notice that her dog had been slipping out late at night, which is something we'd expect of our cats or our no-good, two-timing husbands. So, one night, Betsy decided to follow Princess - see exactly where she was going.
I don't think she was expecting to find what she did.
Betsy discovered that Princess had been sneaking out to the McDonald's parking lot late at night, sitting near the restaurant entrance and pretending to be a poor stray dog. From there, all she needed to do was flash those trademark puppy dog eyes, and bam: free McDonald's.
You might laugh and shake your head, but I can't be the only one who would do the same if I thought I was cute enough to get away with it. In a way, it's genius. Nobody'd suspect a thing, but Betsy had to go and ruin the fun by blowing the whistle on her gold-digging doggo.
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald’s on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don’t know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald’s at night. She’s not even a stray dog. She’s just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she’s a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers. [sic]"
Betsy then decided to try and catch Princess in the act. Watching her dog waiting for an unsuspecting victim to swindle, Betsy saw Princess find her target, watched them tear off a bit of food for the dog... then watched Princess come over to Betsy as if she hadn't just done what she did.
You might think that Princess is showing her human some love, but I guarantee that if she could speak, Princess would be saying "Yo, girl, we cool and it's nice to see you, but you need to get out of here before you ruin my hustle". Ah, Princess. We've all done something we regret for the promise of some free McDonald's. I guess dogs are no different.
