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Scientists reveal why your boring office job is slowly killing you

As you trundle into work this morning, bleary eyed and forlorn after an hours commute on a sticky, steamy train; it'd be safe to say that you really cannot be bothered today. But in the face of all this adversity you still turn up, smile falsely and say "good morning" to your colleagues.

You ask them how their evening was and what they got up to, before taking a moment of peace at your desk. Yanking your chair from under the table and thumping yourself down on it, you let out a yawn and rub your eyes. You enter your password into the computer in front of you, you are now here for 8 hours... and you are dying.

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Yes, that's right: you are dying. If you are sitting at your desk right now (like me), you are slowly drowning yourself in an ocean of fluorescent lighting, beech wood effect desks and instant coffee. If you carry on with the way you're going, it's not going to be a cool and crazy death like in the movies, it's going to be a slow and arduous fade to black.

Slowly, your body will decay due to years of being static, and eventually it will succumb to the pressures of arthritis and high blood pressure, but it pays the bills, doesn't it? As depressing as all this sounds, it's hardly surprising. There are many ways in which your office job is killing you, and you can take a look at them below.

1. Low Fertility

While this may not be a fatal risk, it does spell bad news for carrying on your family name. The Nascentis Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Cordoba found that if a man is using a computer with WiFi near his genitals, he is likely to be reducing his sperm quality. The scientists found that sperm that was placed under a laptop that was using WiFi suffered more damage than those that were kept away. Personally, I feel like this was all intended to stop us being able to take paternity leave, thus saving the company some money.

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2. Boredom kills

No seriously, you might want to stop saying "I'm so bored I want to die" because your boredom could potentially be killing you off. Specialists from the Department of Epidemiology and Public Health at University College London found that those who frequently complain about boredom are more likely to die young from issues such as heart disease or a stroke, so try and occupy that little mind of yours.

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3. Sleep Deprivation

According to research by Bupa, millennials first check their email at 6.37am and clock up more than 12 hours a day of work time, which is nearly an hour (56 minutes) more than their Gen X and Baby Boomer co-workers. 82 per cent of millennials admit to checking their work emails before bed and unsurprisingly this isn't good for your sleeping pattern. Cutting into your sleep by working longer hours increases your risk of cardiovascular problems by 60 per cent, and also effects your efficiency at work.

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4. Skipping breakfast

We are constantly reminded that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, yet so many of us continue to skip it. Up to half of Brits regularly admit to skipping breakfast regularly, which increases the likelihood of high blood pressure, being overweight and matters of the heart. So make sure you're getting up early enough to get that porridge in, although 10 minutes extra in bed versus making breakfast is not a fair fight.

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5. Food on the go

We all try and bring in packed lunch as much as possible, but realistically we fail most of the time. In between watching the newest series on Netflix and constantly checking your work emails (if you're a millennial, other generations don't have an excuse), it can be hard to find the time to prepare something nutritional for your lunch. This leaves plenty of us grabbing food-to-go, which tends to be fast food. This type of regular lunching can increase your risk of heart disease, obesity and diabetes.

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6. Bad boss? Bye bye.

Does your boss make you stressed out? Are they constantly breathing down your neck and hounding you for deadlines? Well essentially you could be charging them for murder.

Of course, I am joking. But in all seriousness, long-term chronic stress wrecks your nervous system and releases a hormone called cortisol, which can raise symptoms such as headaches, ulcers, allergies and diminished sexual desire. Too much stress can accelerate the ageing process, harm your immune system and can even shrink vital brain tissue, resulting in memory loss. So next time your boss starts winding you up, threaten to have them arrested.

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7. Sticky keys?

If you're working at a computer all day, you should clean your keyboard pretty regularly. A keyboard that is left to fester in crumbs and all kinds of other germs runs the risk of contracting E. Coli and other coliforms that are not very good for you. Also, all that typing can cause carpal tunnel syndrome, and no one wants that.

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8. Get off your ass!

Multiple studies have linked excessive sitting with being overweight, having type 2 diabetes and some types of cancer. A study of almost 800,000 people found that, compared with those who sat down the least, people who sat the longest had a 112 per cent increased risk of diabetes, 147 per cent increased risk of cardiovascular events, 90 per cent increased risk of death caused by cardiovascular events and 49 per cent from any cause. Not to mention being inactive is the leading cause of deep vein thrombosis. So it's time to get off your asses and get moving guys.

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Right, I don't know about you, but I'm now sitting at my desk fearing for my life. I think I might go for a run at lunch or I'll just accept my fate, order a McDonald's and sink further and further into my chair.