Kate Beckinsale fires back at meme of her and Pete Davidson making out
Ever since Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande broke up, heartbroken fans have tossed and turned in bed, weeping into their pillows, wondering what kind of cruel god would permit such an unspeakable tragedy. For Generation Z, Pete and Ariana were like Romeo and Juliet, except they knew each longer than four days and Ariana is not 13. That's right, Juliet is only thirteen years old, and Romeo's age is not specified in the text, which means he could be as old as 18 or 22, turning your go-to reference for true romance into a creepy pedophilic nightmare. Their parents were right!
Anyway, now Pete is rumored to be dating English actress Kate Beckinsale, the star of five Underworld movies, although it feels like so many more. Yes, there's a bit of an age difference, since Pete is 25, and Kate is 45, with a 20-year-old daughter, Lily Mo Sheen, which begs the question, has she met Pete yet, and if so does he jokingly tell her to call him 'Dad,' and if he does ask her that, does she laugh, or just give a pained smile, followed by an awkward, stony silence?
Where was I? Oh yeah. Love is love!
Recently America's new least favorite couple made out at a hockey game, while Queer Eye's Antoni Porowski looked on, visibly uncomfortable. The photo inspired a bunch of hilarious memes, which you spent all Tuesday looking at, instead of doing your job, and your boss noticed, because he asked the IT guy to secretly track everyone's internet activity, and now you're not going to get that raise, which means you might as well forget about that vacation you're planning at the Cheese Theme Park in South Korea. What a bummer!
One meme caught the attention of Kate Beckinsale herself, who took a break from hunting down the lycans who allegedly slaughtered her family to post a humorous comment. In the image, someone captioned Kate "Me," Pete "Guys with problems from childhood that I can 'fix'" and Antoni "Wholesome guys with good paying jobs who text back and have no baggage." Kate commented, "Antoni is gay, if that helps clarify at all #queer eye."
Tonight Kate is scheduled to appear on The Late Late Show with James Corden. I wonder if he'll ask her about the meme, and what it's like dating Pete Davidson, and if he ever asks Kate's 20-year-old daughter, Lily Mo Sheen to call him 'Dad,' like, as a joke, and if she finds that funny or not. But then again, it's James Corden's show, so she might just sing carpool karaoke with Nelly or rap battle Ruth Bader Ginsberg or something.
Meanwhile, Kate's ex-boyfriend advised her to "run," and one of Pete's friends told a tabloid that he's thinking about popping the question soon. I hope he does it on stage at an Ariana Grande concert.