Noah Cyrus is actually selling her tears for thousands of dollars
To say that Noah Cyrus and Lil Xan's breakup was messy would be an understatement. The pair, who were involved for a heady two months, both have their own takes on the split. Xan claims that Cyrus cheated him, while the youngest sibling of Miley and Trace Cyrus alleges that Xan dumped her over a Charlie Puth-inspired meme, and that it was actually him that cheated on her.
"If it was fake, why would I be asking you to come over to hang out?" Cyrus on her Instagram stories . "Why would you be saying ‘good morning baby,’ and why would my name be ‘Noey????’ in your phone?" She concluded by asking Xan to end their fight peacefully, and off social media.
Xan then did an Instagram Live, where he stated that the breakup had nothing to do with the Charlie Puth meme, and that he had been manipulated by his ex-girlfriend. He also shouted out Columbia Records, who represent both artists, for purportedly setting up their relationship as a publicity stunt to boost Cyrus' career.
"You really think I’d break up over a Charlie Puth meme?" he asked. "Yo, don’t send me a picture of a d*ck, Noah. Please, I don’t want to see a d*ck."
"I’ve just been informed that basically it’s all fake and I’m being used," he said in another Instagram Live. "So f*ck it. I guess I was just being used. I thought I was in love but whatever. I’ll take that L. Heartbreak soldier; thanks Noah. Hope the song does well." He continued: "People love to just hurt me. It just hurts so f*cking bad."
Now, it appears that Cyrus is capitalising on her breakup. She's due to drop her six-song EP, Good Cry, which will discuss her relationship with her now ex-boyfriend, and to celebrate the launch, the musician is also dropping some merch, which naturally includes her own tears.
For a cool $12,000 you can get your hands on exactly 12 tears "made by Noah Cyrus as a result of sadness." If that's a little out of your budget, however, you can pick up some Billy Ray Cyrus T-Shirts or a "Noah Cyrus Sucks" sweater.
"LIMITED COLLABORATION WITH NOAH CYRUS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR 48 HOURS," the website reads. "This is approximately 12 tears made by Noah Cyrus as a result of sadness. Human digestion of these tears is not suggested cause tears are generally pretty salty and that would just be super fucking weird if you drank someone else's tears."
Cyrus didn't specify if these are the very tears she shed on Instagram Live right after she and Xan called it quits, but does that even matter? We think not.
Well, these sure aren't going to sell out soon.