10 People reveal what happened when they gave their cheating partner a second chance
At some point in your life, you would have come across infidelity in some form. It might not have been your significant other cheating on you, but in all likelihood you've had to comfort a friend who has found out the awful news about their own relationship. Yet in some instances, this breach of trust isn't enough to end the relationship for very long.
It can still be difficult to end a relationship when you're partner has cheated on you, but some can't find the strength to let them go - or sincerely believe that it was a one-off thing that won't rear its head at any point in the future. But what happens next? A recent Reddit thread posed this question to its users, asking them to detail their experiences when they gave a cheating partner a second chance, and here's what they said...
1. This is brutal
"My husband cheated on me and I forgave him. I later found out that he had cheated at our wedding reception and while I was giving birth to his son! I divorced him. My advice is once a cheater, always a cheater."
2. Twist ending
"I forgave because prior to his cheating, I had been going through a really rough time with my mental health and knew I had not been an easy partner to be with for several months. It was an excuse to stay for sure, but in a way I understood how it happened because he started talking to her ABOUT me and it progressed from there. When I discovered it, he did everything I asked without hesitation and after a few months, things actually did get better. I didn't fully trust him again for a couple of years.
"What finally regained trust was when I had an unexpected injury and surgery and he was 100% there for me through the whole painful process and picked up the slack without complaint when I couldn't work for a couple of months because of it. Things were good again for a few years.
"I left him in August after I discovered he was cheating for the second time. I'm much happier now."
3. The worst excuse
"My ex's excuse (the second time he cheated) was that I didn't have time for him and was neglecting his sexual needs. At the time we had a toddler, I was pregnant with kid #2 and acting as my mother's caregiver while she died of brain cancer.
"To be honest, he was right in that I wasn't horny and didn't really have time for his bullshit, but he could have helped me rather than spending his free time having sex with other people."
4. Not exactly loyal
"Forgave her because it was only photos started to trust her again till she tried to f**k my friend. Found out she had been with over 30 guys in the 5 months together"
5. No tact whatsoever
"I forgave her. She didn't even remotely try to make up for it. Not even walk on eggshells about the subject. Like she would mention the guy to me over and over again as if I was supposed to console her over the fact that he just wanted sex from her.
"I broke up with her for good when she did it again. Never again. Shes still miserable like 4 years later. What a way to throw a 10 year relationship down the drain."
6. Finally a happy ending!
"My wife and I were both guilty. Lots of cheating on both sides.
"Now we have an open relationship, honesty is the primary rule. We can each veto the other's potential partner. All hookups have to be discussed first. It works really well, actually, and it's actually improved our sex life as a couple."
7. Not learning from his mistakes
"I was 19 and we had been seeing each other for 6 months and he calls and tells me he slept with someone else the night before (I lived a hour away). I broke up with him right away.
"Couple days later I'm thinking about it and I hadn't had a period in awhile so I take a pregnancy test and I'm pregnant. I tell him and he tells me he will take care of us and we are a team now and will do it together. So I forgive him, he told me right away and I'm young and freaked out. Four years later we get married.
"Years after that we have another kid. We buy a house in the suburbs, both work, go on dates, ride our bikes and we're just a perfect happy family. I trusted him completely. Took awhile but we had over done so much at a young age. 6 months ago he sits me down and admits that he had slept with over 10 different women this whole time. We're divorcing."
8. Getting cold feet
"She cheated on me 3 months before we were to get married. Decided to give her another chance. We even didn't cancel the wedding, just postponed it for 12 months.
"Cheated again only a few months later with another person. All of that was after a 5 year relationship. She never cheated then, only towards the end she changed."
9. Worst. Boyfriend. Ever.
"He cheated on me with my best friend at the time. I ended the friendship rather than the relationship, because I thought his honesty in coming forward to admit his wrongdoing was noble and deserved another chance.
"He unfortunately took my forgiveness as "Oh! I can get away with it and get off scot free!" After I forgave him, he CONTINUED to f**k said "friend" on the side, made out with my OTHER close friend, hit on several of my other friends, and then ultimately asked me over the phone for a "hall pass" so he could sleep with his coworker.
"I had been with him for about a quarter of my life at the time, and was so invested (or comfortable) in the relationship that it was very, very difficult for me to break it off, despite his infidelities and overall shitty-ness. I finally grew a pair and told him to f**k off, and haven't spoken to him since.
"After breaking it off, I had several great relationships, both casual and serious, I learned a lot about myself and what I like/dislike and accept/don't in a relationship. AND I learned that sex is supposed to be enjoyable for BOTH parties. I am now engaged to a wonderful man who actually gives a f**k about me."
10. A positive outcome
"We were married less than a year. It was the hardest year of my life. He went to watch a sporting event with his friends and didn't come back that night. He called me in the morning and told me what happened. Lots of counselling, lots of fighting, and we are still married 20 years and 2 kids later. I think since he told me right away and didn't try to hide it made it easier."
It seems, unfortunately, like the overwhelming experience people have after getting back with a partner who cheated on them is that they make the same mistakes all over again. However, it's nice to know that at least some people out there can learn from their mistakes and strengthen their relationship in the process.
If this has got you thinking about your own significant other, you should check out this list of signs your partner is cheating on you, and what to do about it.