10 People reveal the reason they cheated
Cheating is a terrible thing to do. However right it feels in the moment, you should really be thinking about what you're doing to your partner than the passing pleasure of that one evening. There are plenty of people who give in to desire and try it out, later to regret this decision and feel dreadful about the whole thing.
On the other hand, there are people out there who don't have any regrets about their decision to cheat on their partner. Cosmopolitan recently interviewed various women, who had their names changed to keep their anonymity, and quoted their reasons why they believe cheating was the right decision for them to make at the time.
1. A turning point
"I was in a long-term relationship with the worst human I have ever met; he cheated on me several times. I stayed with him because every ounce of confidence I once had was gone. I wanted to break up with him but felt as though he was the best I could get, and I didn't deserve any better. Then, a friend of mine started showing interest in me. We went out for a few drinks and ended up sleeping together. If it wasn't for this guy reminding me what it felt like to be wanted and appreciated, and showing me that I did deserve better, I never would have built up the courage to leave the man I was with. My friend and I never started dating, but we're still good friends to this day."
2. No regrets
"Cheating made me realize how much my boyfriend at the time didn't care; he really just wanted to be with his friends more than me. I would tell him I would be hanging out with these guys at all hours of the night and all he would say was something like, 'Have fun.'"
"It got to the point where I went to Canada overnight with a guy — and I told him about it before it happened — and he didn't even question it or anything. This is when I knew I needed a change. Soon after, I met my current fiancé and broke up with my then-boyfriend. I don't regret anything."
3. A necessary mistake
"My boyfriend and I were long-distance. I started feeling like I didn't need him in my life anymore and I was happy without him. Then my ex came into town. I was out at a bar and drunkenly asked my ex to pick me up. I stayed over and we had sex. I woke up at, like, 4:00 am in complete shock and disgust with myself.
"I walked out of his apartment, clothes in hand and nothing but his shirt on. I wandered through the apartment complex waiting for my Uber and I felt that my life had never been so in shambles. Since that night, I have been so grateful for my boyfriend, and have a deeper understanding and appreciation for him. If I never cheated on him, I don't think our relationship would have survived. It opened my eyes to how much I loved him."
4. Finding "the one"
“I was dating a wonderful guy. The conversation was lovely, we were both very interested in the same types of music, had fantastic date nights, and a great sex life. For a few moments, I thought he could be The One. One afternoon, walking to the library to study, I literally ran into my high school ex. He ended up walking me to the library and sharing a table where we had a nonstop catching-up session."
"It was late when we finally walked back to the dorms, and he invited me up to keep catching up. As soon as the door shut, sparks were flying and we ended up on the floor, clothes in every direction. I broke up with my then-boyfriend the next day. And my high school sweetheart? We're getting married in four months."
5. A double standard
"He had cheated on me before, and I forgave him, but as we grew up together, I grew into a person he couldn't control anymore. I was pushed to my limits and when I was pushed enough, I was pushed right into someone else's arms. The guy I cheated on my boyfriend with knew how mentally damaging my relationship was; he was my best friend. We told each other everything. One night, I ended up in my best friend's arms and things got carried away."
"I felt guilty afterward but at the same time I didn't blame myself. I blamed my boyfriend. I couldn't find love and acceptance with him, so I went searching for it elsewhere. Subconsciously, I think I knew that the only way my boyfriend and I would break up would be by committing the 'ultimate crime' — in his eyes, at least. I told him within the next few days and it ended up being unforgivable to him. We went our separate ways and I have never been happier. I am the best version of myself without him. And the act of cheating got me to the place I am now and I will never apologize for that."
6. Cheating revealed the truth
"I'd been with my boyfriend for almost three years, but over time we started spending less time together. We stopped having sex and eventually there was no real physical contact."
"I started to wonder if it was my fault, and I'd just lost my sex drive for some reason. But when I started talking to a guy I worked with, things changed. I couldn't wait to go into work every day (despite the fact I hated my job) and I would get excited to see his name pop up in my emails. But he was engaged, so I thought I was just kidding myself, and besides, I had a boyfriend too. Slowly, talking became flirting and flirting became sexting, and eventually we kissed, and from that day, we couldn't stop."
"The more time we spent together, the more we realized how broken our own relationships were. I had a sudden zest for life again, wanting to see my friends more and picking up old hobbies that I couldn't quite remember why I'd stopped. Cheating showed me how bad things had gotten and how unhappy I was. I regret doing it because I don't ever want to hurt someone, but I think ultimately it showed me how unhappy we were."
7. Getting back at a bad boyfriend
"I had just started dating this guy from work, and this new girl got hired right around that time. She made it really clear she was interested, but I had never been with a girl before, and I was supposed to be dating this guy. He told me he didn't want anyone to know we were dating (red flag, I know) and as time went on, he was an increasingly crappier human. One day, I ended up spitefully hooking up with this girl in my car, and after I broke up with him, we ended up dating and have been living together for almost two years. What a way to find out you like women too."
8. Getting it out of the system
"I actually cheated on my current fiancé about two years ago. We broke up and I began a relationship with the other guy. My fiancé and I obviously got back together, and as much as I hate that I hurt him so much, I can say with 100 percent certainty that I'm marrying the man I should be. I think I needed to get that last 'idea' out of my head, otherwise I'd be living the rest of my life with a 'what if', which is absolutely no way to go into a marriage. I still feel like a pretty bad person for doing it, and I regret hurting my fiancé, but I don't regret getting it out of my system."
9. Giving them the space to grow
"When my marriage fell apart and my then-husband began to question whether or not he was attracted to women, I met someone who was attracted to me, who made me feel vibrant, alive, beautiful, and supported. Despite my ex-husband's 1940s viewpoint that we should stay unhappily married through his identity-questioning and our deeply unsatisfying relationship because of the vows we took, I explored what it could feel like to be loved, seduced, and fulfilled."
"I left the marriage a year after we said 'I do' and have been with my now-fiancé for years since. We are so deeply in love and I can't believe I almost passed up on my Happily Ever After because of the stigma around cheating. There's nothing unhappy about my story, since we're both better off, and my ex is now living happily with a man and seeking out the support groups he needs to find self-acceptance."
10. Raising confidence
"I had found myself in a two-year relationship that had lost its luster. He had met me when I was at an all-time low with self-esteem and was shocked that anyone could see me as a remotely attractive person. He treated me like a sure thing that would crawl into bed beside him every night regardless and I was tired of it."
"My first time cheating was with a guy who finally showed me that I was desirable and that I didn't have to settle for being someone's 'sure thing.' Cheating gave me the confidence that there would be other people out there who would want me and love me more than my boyfriend had."
While many of you will still be pretty firm in your belief that cheating should never happen under any circumstances, it's hard to avoid the fact that a lot of the time both people in the relationship ended up in a better place, even if the act itself wasn't right to do.